9 Ways to Be a Good Friend

  Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

She was the first Bible-believing Christian I was ever around. We met in childbirth classes and realized we lived in the same neighborhood. I remember sitting at her kitchen table with our little babies and she would talk about the Lord like He was an everyday part of her life.

Her husband called while I was there one day to excitedly report he had gotten a promotion at work. My friend’s response was, “I’m not at all surprised, I’ve been praying for that.”  It was a matter of fact for her that God would answer her prayer.

Many times her faith has encouraged me even though we rarely see each other anymore. Even the apostle Paul talks about setting a good example for others.

These memories got me thinking about what she and others have done around me that have set a good example and that I want to do to help others grow in faith.

Here’s the list.

1. Read the Bible. This woman’s faith was a gift from God. She was so thankful for the gift that she nurtured it every day by reading and studying her Bible. She knew what God said and how He responds to us when we are in sorrow, grief, joy or the humdrum of life, and she could articulate it.  Psalm 119:11

2. Love your husband. I never heard a harsh or critical word come out of her mouth about her husband. She loved him and was fine with serving him and helping him any way she could. She did his laundry, made his lunch, and cleaned their house. He was good to her and she felt blessed and let me – and him – know it. Titus 2:4

3. Love your children. She acted as if the baby was just the natural flow of things and she was a happy Mom. She never once acted as if the birth of the baby had somehow stolen her life but she rejoiced in what a gift God had given her. What a great example for someone who was influenced by the women’s movement that taught children were an obstacle to achieving your biggest dreams and highest goals. Psalm 127:3

4. Live in confidence of God’s promises. I was afraid giving up my income was going to kill us financially when my first child was born. She lived in confidence that God would provide for them. I saw that He did. I saw what her devotion to her husband did for her marriage as she lived out the biblical model of marriage and how her biblical ideas of discipline were producing a happy and well behaved child. I wanted to do what she was doing because I wanted the blessings she was living in. 2 Peter 1:3-4

5. Stop complaining. Many Christians who say they firmly believe in the sovereignty of God complain about their day-to-day circumstances. He IS sovereign so whatever is happening is under His control. He knows about it and He will use it for our good. We need to pay attention to the good God wants to do rather than the difficulty or disappointment of the moment. Psalm 139

6. Watch your language. This and #5 are part of the reason I think it is so important to keep reading the Bible. When we do we are reminded of who God is and what His laws are – and that He rewards the humble one who does things His way. Taking His name in vain, gossip, constant griping, these things do not edify anyone or build them up. Children, spouses, and friends are all affected by the words we use. Guard the tongue and you guard others. James 1:26

7. Don’t overdo anything. Too many words. Too much food. Too much spending (or charging). Too much of our company.  Too much of our kids. Too much is just too much. Proverbs 10:19, 23:21, 25:17, and Ecclesiastes 5:10

8. Give God the glory. We all think too highly of ourselves. Humility is not taught in our culture. We start hearing “good job” even when we haven’t done a good job at a very young age. We truly can do nothing without the enabling and the direction of God. He is worthy of honor and glory, out loud so others can hear it.  John 15:5  Psalm 30

9. Show up and be gentle. When things are not going well for a friend, when they are overwhelmed or hurt or distraught, go to them, make eye contact, put a reassuring hand on them, encouraging them to keep going. Be filled with grace and acceptance. Speak the truth in love. Sometimes an email, a text or a Facebook message are just not enough. Ephesians 4:25

Just for the record, this woman is not perfect but her faith is real and she lives by the principles she talked about. She is authentic and consistent and that is very appealing and worthy of imitation. Even as an unbeliever, I could see she was setting a good example.

How are you and I setting a good example of faith for others to imitate?