A Friend in Need

 

One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. Proverbs 12:26

 

We should expect evil people to be a bad influence and Christian friends to be a good influence, even encouraging.

The concern of this post is those times when the righteous are not all that encouraging, in fact they are neutral. They say nothing that encourages or builds us up, they just tickle our ears with nice things to say, no matter what is happening.

From a conversation I was recently part of, it seems some Christian women think that this is the way, as a friend, they can best encourage a discouraged friend.

Here are a couple of statements I hear again and again: “Well, whatever you do, don’t quote scripture to her.” “She needs compassion, not preaching.” Do they sound familiar?

Many believe these things to be “gospel” truth, despite their flying in the face of scripture (Hebrews 4:12, Psalm 119:105, Galatians 6:1). They “encourage” other women by “affirming” some gift or attribute. “You’re a great Mom, this is just a phase.” “You’ve been too busy, no wonder your fuse is so short. After (insert excuse here) is over, you’ll have more time and things will calm down.”

Now, there are definitely times when we need to put our arms around someone and just “be there.” Listening when they are ready to talk and speaking only when they ask a question. Grief and/or pain may need to be processed by the one going through them without any input from another in the moment. Being there and being quiet can be the encouragement they need.

But, God’s Word tells us that there come times when  what they need is to hear what the Most High God has to say about their situation.

• This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. Psalm 119:50
• If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. Psalm 119:92
• See also, Psalm 119:92 & 105; John 17:17

God’s Word is truth (John 17:17) and most often, regardless of the situation, platitudes are just not helpful or encouraging.  A person who is suffering any kind of affliction needs real encouragement which is more likely to come from an honest, biblical assessment of the situation.

It is hard to make something right if we don’t know what is wrong.

The word of God addresses every struggle and hardship we will face on this earth. Not to speak the truth of God’s Word is to a leave a sister in trouble, spiritually as well as physically or materially.

Are you and I willing to speak the truth in love to one in a tough time? She may not be thankful in the moment, but she will appreciate it quickly enough.  “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” Luke 11:28

Are we willing to be first, possibly increasing the willingness of others?