A Good Wife is Hard to Find

 

“The birthing person,” really? We all see it; traditional values and understandings are taking a huge hit in being categorized as politically incorrect. The two greatest tragedies (IMO) are the hit on marriage and the hit on the family.

By confusing gender identity and roles, we are confusing what needs to happen with Mom, Dad, and the kids for each one to be cared for and nurtured in true instruction of biblical roles. It seems that even the Christians of our nation have forgotten that “the truth will set you free!” (John 8:32).

In other words when a man is taught and permitted to be a true man, the one who loves his wife, protects his children, and provides for his family as the leader both spiritually and materially, he lives in freedom. When we teach a guy to “feel” more or to sit back while his “strong as any man” wife takes the lead, he is confused, frustrated, and most likely pretty unhappy.

He is not free to be who he was created to be.

In the same way, a woman who is not able to be a “helper” to her husband and is not able to spend enough time with her children to do a good job of loving them or instructing them, is frustrated. She probably lives in guilt about what is not being done at home and in frustration at what she feels she should be doing at work.

She is not living in the truth that sets her free, either.

I am not a “no woman should ever work outside of the home” kind of person. I am a woman who believes that the truth of the scripture is that a wife and mother’s top priority has to be her family and home in order for there to be a productive, healthy family raised to love and serve the Lord and their community.

One of the greatest hits men have taken is that their wives are no longer their “helpmates” as God prescribes (Genesis 2:18). One example is that two women have recently told me that their sons and daughters-in-law do not acknowledge their birthdays or mother’s day, etc. The attitude of each wife is that it is their husband’s mother and so they are not her problem.

In the Proverbs 31 account of a godly wife, the point is made that her husband trusts her completely; she does him good and not harm (Proverbs 31:11-12). This man has a respected position at the gate among the elders of the city (Proverbs 31:23).  The context of the statement about his position makes it clear that what his wife does for him assists in his reputation and respect.

She is his “helper” (Genesis 2: 18) making sure that he looks good, and not just physically. Men do not think about appearances as women do. Men do not think about details like birthdays and holidays unless they are trained to do so.

Ladies, wives especially, we can help a man look good to his mother and his sisters and even to whomever is at his “gate” (Proverbs 31:23). Offer the suggestion that his mother’s birthday is coming (or his sister, niece, nephew or devoted employee), even better, go get a gift you know would make him look good.

Even with our neighbors, men are not as relational (in general) as women are made to be. They may need a “helper” in communication or extending grace to others. (We know we are better at these things.)

I know that men need to learn to be thoughtful and helpful but the Lord gave us a job to do. Are we so selfish or busy in our lives that we cannot be a helper to the one we have promised to love and honor until death do us part?

There are blessings and freedom for all in doing things God’s way. A good wife is hard to find (Proverbs 31:10). Will we adjust our attitudes and be her?