A Little Tact
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Ephesians 4:25
“Mom-mom! You have on all my favorite colors! Purple gloves, gray hair and a pink shirt!”
My granddaughter greeted me with these words in the garden where I was, indeed, wearing purple gardening gloves, a pink T shirt, and gray hair. I change the gloves and shirt regularly but the hair has been with me for some years now. I guess that’s why the “gray hair” made me chuckle.
I put it up as a post on Facebook because I thought it was so amusing. My daughter posted her response. “That’s my girl…. I’m not sure if I should be proud of her powers of observation or ashamed of the lack of tact!”
I had not thought about the comment being tactless because this is how four year olds see the world. It is what it is. It made me chuckle because usually if people make a comment about my hair it is very tactful. Some women seem to think I need reassurance that it’s okay with them if I don’t color it.
The statement, though it was from a four year old, made me realize how conscious we are (I am) about saying things in such a way that we don’t offend anyone. The good news is that I am rarely offended at an accurate observation…about my appearance. This is not to say that I would enjoy a comment about the few pounds that have crept onto my body the last couple of years – but I probably wouldn’t thank the observant one for pointing them out!
The bigger deal that this has started me thinking about is how often we are “tactful” when it might be more helpful to be observant. I remember a few years ago someone asked me when the last time was that I had heard a sermon on gluttony or even heard it used as an example of sin among believers. I hadn’t ever heard it addressed in any way from the pulpit or Bible teachers. I have been listening to sermons from Bible preaching Pastors for about twenty years.
Later, I was hearing from women in several different venues about how pornography was affecting their marriages and children. As I started paying attention to the studies about this problem I realized the numbers all indicate that the men of the Church are as susceptible to this temptation as the average unbeliever. How often is it addressed? It makes me wonder if it is not addressed because it would upset the men to have their sin pointed out or if it is not addressed because pastors don’t think it is happening in their congregation. (For the record my current Pastor does not avoid this subject from the pulpit.)
In way of observation, it is important to speak to these issues so we do not leave people in their sin. In the interest of tact, which in general is also a good thing, it is wise for the Christian to understand and even make the further observation that our God is just and will forgive a repentant sinner for any sin. (1 John 1:9) We would not want to leave any Christian feeling like they had lost the war with sin. We will all lose some of the battles with the sins we don’t like to have pointed out but Christ won the war on the cross. If we are in Christ, we are forgiven.
There may be no tactful way for a four year old to approach a gray haired lady and point it out as one of her favorite colors. But, there are ways for every Christian to Biblically and tactfully point out to someone that they need to consider God’s point of view on their behaviors or their beliefs. The Bible calls it gentleness and respect.
“But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” 1 Peter 3:14-15