A Ring Won’t Change him

 

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled…. Hebrews 13:4

 

Marriage distracts us from other things. I am not suggesting this is a bad thing – but it is a thing. Husbands and children require a certain amount of devotion of time and resources that do not have to concern the single woman.

I was thinking about this today because I would love to make young, single, women, see the truth.  A young woman who wants to serve the Lord and who is falling for the man who is controlling, verbally abusive, or physically or financially abusive may see her desire to serve the Lord outside of marriage coming to a quick end.

I say this because when a woman (or a man) has to spend her time working to keep her spouse peaceful and happy, rather than as a partner in ministry, the ministry loses.

Once a woman is married, her primary ministry is at home, and will be for a number of years until the children of the marriage are grown. After that, if the husband is abusive, the wife may stay home from ministry opportunities or not teach or mentor or witness to the grace of God because she has all she can handle to keep peace at home.

The Apostle Paul suggested that the unmarried women have more time and attention to give to the Lord than the married one does. In 1 Corinthians  7:33-34, “But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.”

He was talking about the normal, no great problems marriage. When there are emotional or physical abuse problems in the marriage, it can create an even larger gap between the wife and the work of the Lord.

What a coup for Satan! All he has do is deceive a woman (or a man) into marrying someone who is so self-focused, or one who does not love the Lord, so that her work for God is hindered for the rest of her life. He must be so pleased with this deception.

God is clear that marriage is to be honored (Hebrews 13:4). Wives are to be loved and protected. Husbands, respected and supported by our help to them.

When we are deceived and do not do marriage God’s way, Satan wins the battle.

There is great blessing in serving the Lord. I hate that some women are denied that blessing by the very men who promise, before the Lord, to love and honor them.

If you are that young, unmarried woman, please hear this! If it doesn’t look good before you marry him (Proverbs 19:19), it will not get better because there is a ring on your finger.

If you are an older woman:  Is there some young, single woman, you can teach that we cannot presume that God will radically change the man she wants to marry, because she wants to marry him? If we speak and she listens, she will be blessed – even if she doesn’t thank you in the moment!