Authentic Appearances
So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. Matthew 23:28
At a recent social affair an old friend and I were seated with new acquaintances. One of the new acquaintances happened to have grown up in the same town as my friend, recognized the family name, and told a story of how kind and generous his father had been to her when she was just a girl. Our friend responded to the story by telling her how often he and his siblings were told such stories. To his credit he didn’t mention to his new aquaintance that they had rarely seen this side of their father in their own home.
When I think of a person that I consider authentic I think of those Christians I know who are always the same. They are as faithful to the Lord in the workplace as they are in church on Sunday. They are as quick to tell a friend as a stranger that their hope lies in the Lord. They are “what you see is what you get” kind of people. I like them because they are trustworthy.
I am heartbroken by how many people are difficult, maybe even abusive, to their spouses or families, but in public they show an entirely different personality. To their work associates, their pastors, and their friends they are jovial and carefree. They will drop what they are doing to help anyone but at home they are selfish and unkind.
The words “authentic” or “authenticity” aren’t in the Bible. However, authentic behaviors are described using many different words. Faithful, steadfast, true, genuine, and trustworthy lead the list. This is a characteristic of the Christian faith to be lived out all the time, not just for those we want to impress the most.
Another man we heard about who has recently passed away worked hard all his life and had made a good living. He was a real servant in the community in which he lived and had dedicated his life to several worthy causes. To everyone’s amazement, he died with very little. There was apparently another side to this public servant. He spent a lot of money to hide who he really was. The man in the community was not the man who went home to live every night. His extended family is just beginning to learn that he led two lives. The reality is crushing.
In our old neighborhood there was a man who retired from a decent job. He was so set on impressing our neighbors that he remodeled his house and landscaped his yard so he could be the host of elaborate parties and impress his new friends. He remortgaged his house to do it. He had several of those parties and then couldn’t make the payments. He lost the house – and the friends.
All of these people suffered from a common ailment among mankind: the fear of man. They have been far more concerned about what others think of them than they are about their relationship with the Lord or even just being real or trustworthy. They have hurt their families, some became slaves to financial debt, and some have caused pain to those they supposedly love (hypocrisy often does that). All of this could have been avoided if they had been authentic to who God had made them to be.
When our behavior differs for different people it should throw up a red flag. The problem is that too many people are not even being authentic or trustworthy to themselves. They believe that the person they are in public is their real character and the attributes of unkindness, anger, and selfishness that they display at home are forced on them by their uncaring and demanding families. The opposite is true. The person we are and the words we use in the privacy of our own homes reveal our true heart.
Authenticity and hypocrisy are not always easily identifiable by others – but God sees everything and knows the intentions of our hearts. He says, “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.” Proverbs 29:25