Being the Big Girl
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12
My granddaughter, Stella, was visiting with two of my great-nieces. She is five and a half and they are three. While out of the hearing range of their mothers the two little girls got into an argument over a cup. Stella, wanting to resolve the problem, stepped up to the plate and said, “Well, it looks like I’m the big girl here.” She explained to me that after this statement the little girls started to share and all went well the rest of the afternoon.
The words sounded so prideful coming from my granddaughter but I could see she was right. At three they do not have the reasoning skills to settle the argument without a full-blown fight of the three year old, “who can cry and scream the loudest” variety. Her “intervention” was enough to stop the escalation.
I thought to myself, “Wow, how many times have I wanted to intervene in some petty discussion or argument thinking something along the lines of, “It looks like I’m the big girl here.” Of course, as an adult, we would not make that announcement but hopefully could step in with some words of wisdom and discernment.
It is, in fact, a biblical idea. Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” According to “The Complete Word Study Dictionary” this “spiritual” one is one who has had the breath of God blown into them. I read that to say that they have the power of the Holy Spirit directing them. The real hard part and the key to doing this kind of corrective intervention well is to do it “in a spirit of gentleness” which, at least for me, is what I will rely on the Holy Spirit to help with. I am not always gentle with my words.
The verse warns us to keep a watch on ourselves so we aren’t tempted. We can fall into sin, in this case childish actions and words, if we aren’t careful. We give up the “big girl” status when we become a part of the problem.
Self-righteous people – at five or fifty five – can be pretty hard to take. The “I’m the big girl here” attitude may come off just as prideful as it sounded from my granddaughter. In order to be gentle we will have to muster up some humility. We might be the big girl this time but there will probably come a time when we’ll take a turn at needing big girl correction.
The more gently we approach others, the more gently we are likely to be approached when it is coming back at us.
My NT professor gave a good example of what it means to restore with gentleness: the word is similar to the technique a surgeon uses when carefully cutting with a surgical scalpel. Reminds me of the guideline: “First, do no harm”. He went on to say sadly, our techniques resemble more of a meat-cleaver approach. I often think of this when presented with a situation. Is my attitude one of “I don’t want to hurt this person in any way?” I am grateful for Dr. Phil Hook’s instruction 35 years after sitting under it.
These are good terms to think in. Though I rarely get angry or yell, I know my words have been “meat-cleaverish” at times. I will try to remember the “scalpel” approach, looking to heal and restore not chop open.
I love how God brings people into our lives who leave these lasting lessons in us. Thanks Pam.
Thanks be to God for your devotional – I just read the same scripture yesterday morning in my quiet time! My heart has been burdened by a friend who has made some bad choices over the last 6 months and is continuing to “move away” from her church family and her Heavenly Father because of those choices….. I have been asking God if I should approach her about it… but not knowing how to … and certainly not wanting to seem “holier than thou” in doing so…. It’s sad to say that I have done nothing other than to pray about it. It appears that this devotional is confirmation that I am to approach her – but thanking my Father – that HE has enlightened me as to the best approach to take! (through your post as well as Pam’s :o) I would covet your prayers in helping to see “when the time is right and the heart is fully humble” So that the Spirit will be in control! Prayers too, that she will be receptive and open to His leading! Blessings to you dear sister in Christ!
Love the “scalpel” approach shared by Pam. I am definitely a “meat cleaver” at time! Since I am an RN, this analogy will stick with me. Thanks.
Beth-Love Stella’s problem resolution skill! I know her wise grandma will help her refine that as she grows older!
I have prayed and will as the Lord reminds me, Andrea! It is hard but you will both grow from the experience. Part of my prayer is that you will trust God for the words and timing. He is strong in our weakness.
Beth
Thanks Pat, I pray it’s so! I, too, recognize my “meat-cleaver” tendencies. Hoping to be more surgeon like in the future! Beth
Thanks for the clarification Pam. As you can see, many relate to the meat cleaver.