Building a Friendly Community

 

Choose friends who are friends with God. C.H. Spurgeon

 

 

The government’s concerted effort to persuade people that Christianity is suspect seems to be working. We know that our great God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). It may be hard, from a human perspective, to see how this will work out when it seems to be His own children who are taking the brunt of the anger of our nation.

For this reason it seems important that within the Church we should be working on building relationships and a community that will love and serve one another should persecution get worse.

Friendships are unique relationships with the expectation of mutual love and service. Some have many friends and some have only a few. As times become more difficult, it will be helpful, as brothers and sisters in the Lord to know who our real friends are.

Making close relationships will require effort. 1 Samuel, describes the friendship between Jonathan, the son of King Saul, and the anointed but not inaugurated David as he awaits the kingship. These chapters reveal some principles for friendship that are applicable for our times.

Without quoting chapter and verse, here are some principles taught in 1 Samuel.

1. Friendship is a sacrificial relationship. A friendship requires us to show up. We may have to sacrifice.

• Energy – we may be the ones who need to initiate contact or to help with things that require sweat equity in the friendship (a move, gardening, help with kids, etc.)
• Time – if we want to get close to someone it takes time.
• Comfort – we forfeit our own comfort to be there when a friend’s life is hard and we can do nothing but love and encourage them or to say things that are hard, to point out truth or sin, and point them to God for their spiritual needs.
• Money – a friend might need financial help or to be taken from home and holed up in a coffee shop for a time to refresh them, or we might need to travel some distance to see them when they are in a desert place. If things get too bad here, we may need to help feed them if we are in a position to do so.

2. We must be consistent in character.

• A friend needs to know we are trustworthy and will remain loyal friends.
• A friend will keep a secret.
• A friend will keep her promises.
• A friend will strengthen a friend’s hand in God (1 Samuel 23:16)

3. We must choose friends wisely (a principle also found in other places in the scripture).

• A good friend will want to please the Lord as you do. (Proverbs 12:26)
• Anger is a snare to friendship. (Proverbs 22:24-25)
• Friends can talk too much (and so can we). (Proverbs 10:19, 17:9).
• A friend’s bad habits can bring us down. (1 Corinthians 15:33)

The scripture has the best “friend advice” we will find anywhere. One passage worthy of thought and application to all our friendships is Romans 12:15-18, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.  Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.  Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

It is a wonderful feeling to know there is someone with whom we can have this kind of close, trusted relationship. If we have them already, how could we communicate that they are valued and appreciated? How can we work together to see the good that God is working for us as we serve His purposes?

If we do not have a close friendship now, but want one, what sacrifice of comfort and time could we make to initiate such a friendship and to keep it so that both parties have someone to turn to when hard times arrive?