Careful, Little Ears
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12.
“Be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little ears what you hear…” Isn’t that the way the song goes? I think of this song every time my little granddaughter hears us lower our voices because she is in the next room and she comes inching in, getting as close as she can to listen to our conversation, all the while continuing to play as if she weren’t moving! We used to call her mother “nosy Rosey”, her daughter carries on the tradition!
I never cease to be amazed, and puzzled, by what adults will say in front of children. I am even more distressed when the adults are the parents of those children. There seems to be either a lack of discernment or a lack of self-control. My biggest complaint is in the complaints one parent makes about the other in front of the children.
As two mothers visit with one another, kids in tow, the conversation will often go to how things are going at home. Some well-meaning Christians might even ask a direct question in an effort to hold the other accountable in her marriage relationship. Before you answer, will you please consider the location of the children? Are they within earshot? Should they hear what you are about to say? Is it even something you should be saying to your friend?
There is also the way we speak to our husbands. Our words can build them up or tear them down. We can be encouraging or we can defeat them with our words. The double whammy comes when we do this in front of the children. What are we teaching them as they listen? Specifically, what are they learning about their father? Does Mom think he is a great guy or a jerk? They want to know so they are going to listen.
We rarely think about disrespect for our husbands as a sin against God or as a bad example for our children. It is both and sin has a domino effect. We are told to respect our husbands. (Ephesians 5:33) When we fail to do this with our words in front of our children, we are passing on an attitude of disrespect that the children will imitate. If we go to the command (top of the article), we are then dooming our children to miss the blessing that comes from honoring their mother and their father.
I am overwhelmed by the incredible power God has delegated to parents. We have the same power with them as with our husbands. We can build them up with our words or we can tear them down. None of us will ever parent perfectly, but we need to be aware that it is about so much more than just what we say and do “to” the child. They glean something from every word that comes out of our mouths within their hearing.
There’s an old saying: “More is caught than taught.” What attitudes about Dad are we throwing our children?