Children, a Blessing?

 

One of my stated goals is to teach the whole counsel of God. Sometimes I miss my mark.

My husband and I are teaching a parenting class in our church right now. This past week we emphasized that children are a blessing from God, using Psalms 127 and 128 to back  up our stance. God always calls children a blessing is what we taught.

Yesterday I was studying and reading a book by a woman who wants the Biblical role of women to be clear to, and lived out by, every Christian woman. She says that children are a blessing to the righteous. I stopped dead in my tracks. “Only to the righteous?” was my immediate thought. Take a look with me.

Psalms 127 and 128 both make a singular statement about children. Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.”  And, Psalm 128:3, “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.” A reward and the fruit of a fruitful vine that will be like olive shoots, growing, and in due time, fruitful themselves.

These are definitely positive statements about having children. But, if we go back to verse 1 in each Psalm they do seem to set a condition of righteousness. Psalm 127 is speaking about the family who “lets the Lord build the house” and Psalm 128 starts with the blessing on those “who fear the LORD.” The righteous person will allow God to build their home and fear the Lord. It is only when God starts the work of faith in us that we are even capable of such submission to Him.

In several verses in Proverbs we see that children are not a blessing in every home:

A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother. Proverbs 10:1

A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish man despises his mother. Proverbs 15:20

He who does violence to his father and chases away his mother is a son who brings shame and reproach. Proverbs 19:26

If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.  Proverbs 20:20

In other verses from Proverbs we can see that raising kids who will love and fear the Lord, who will let the Lord build their houses, takes the concentrated, intentional, efforts of the parents. If we are righteous parents our children will see the discipline that will keep them from behaving in such ways.

Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death. Proverbs       19:18

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Proverbs 22:15

Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart. Proverbs 29:17

But I’m not sure that children are blessings only to the righteous. Likewise, I’m not sure that children of the righteous are always a blessing.  We have all seen righteous parents who had prodigal children. I know many people who are not righteous (in the Christian sense of the word ) who would certainly consider their children a blessing.  And I know non-Christians with Christian children who are a blessing. So my view doesn’t quite align with this writer who thinks the blessings from children only fall on the righteous. Remember too, sunshine and rain fall on both the just and the unjust.

What she has done is made me remember that God blesses obedience. If we allow God to build our homes and fear Him as He tells us to, then we will know many blessings, our children will be just one of them.

The bottom line for me is, if we want our children to be a blessing to us, we have to set an example of a righteous life. We must raise them God’s way, not relying on worldly wisdom or our own understanding. Children will hear our words and weigh them against our behaviors. Our children will compare our righteous words to our unrighteous behavior and they know hypocrisy when they see it.

Are we raising our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord? In my house, and your house, are we allowing the LORD to build the home?

So, what do you think? Did my husband and I miss the mark when we said that “children are always a blessing from God?” Are children a blessing only to the righteous?