Dancing Lessons
Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe!
Psalm 150:4
A few weeks ago as my husband and I danced in front of the instructor, who has ever so patiently taught us such fun things as the fox trot and swing, we were stumbling over each other. I looked at this kind woman and said, “What happened there?” She looked straight at me and said, “You were trying to lead.”
My husband and I both laughed. You see, I’m always trying to lead! This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but sometimes a person just has to step back and let someone else lead. The dancing pointed me to a spiritual lesson God has been trying to teach me since He saved me.
I enjoy being in control of my circumstances. I don’t have to be the leader, I can be a pretty good follower. But, show one little crack, leave one area uncovered, and I’ll be sticking my toes in that door. I like to fill any leadership void. Sometimes it’s due to confidence that I can help, sometimes it’s just pride.
On the dance floor I have had to learn to let my husband lead all the time. God has shown me that this is also true in my life. My husband is very open to any suggestions I might make. He actually seems to like to seek my opinion on issues he knows I’ve thought about. I feel very respected by his desire to use me as a sounding board. Ultimately though, he is the one God will hold responsible for the decisions.
It’s interesting to think about the fall of man in Genesis 3. Eve saw the fruit and is the one who took it and gave it to her husband. He is the one God holds responsible for the fall. He could have stopped it if he had chosen to.
The Bible is clear about male leadership in marriage. 1Corinthians 11:3 says, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”
God, Christ, husband, wife, that’s the order of leadership. When we fail to respect this we do what my husband and I did on that dance floor, we stumble all over each other. When we do respect the order that God has set, the dance flows smoothly.
One key to this is that everyone has to respect the order. If the husband is not loving his wife as Christ loved the church then there will still be stumbling. If both husband and wife follow God’s plan, smoother dancing will result.
Over time as God has placed me in roles of leadership I have learned that any leadership operates best when each person does his/her own job. On that dance floor I was trying to do my husband’s job. Sometimes in the flow of life it’s just easier for me to try to take things over than to wait for others to get around to doing the job I want done. Often I find that if I had just waited they would have done it better and with less cost and emotion than I did it.
So, in marriage and in my other responsibilities I believe God wants me to yield to the one He has placed in the position of leadership. He has given me a mind and I don’t believe this means that I am not to state my opinion or make suggestions. But, the leader is the one who gets the final say. Then, I am to submit, yield, or maybe even agree, whatever it takes to let the leader lead.
When He puts me in leadership roles I know that I have to be the one to do what He has called me to do. This way I won’t frustrate others.
God can – and does – use all things for His glory and our good. He has taught me a spiritual lesson about leading from something we went into for fun.
Who’s leading in your life?