Disagreement on Disrespect

 

Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.  2 Corinthians 13:11

 

“We did hear you, we disagree with you.”

Our son is a writer. He was able to persuasively “argue” his point from a surprisingly early age. As parents, we sometimes allowed him to do what he was arguing for because he laid out his case so well, not so much because it was the right thing to do.

As our eyes were opened to that truth, we tried to be more discerning. Every now and then, he would lay out his argument and we would refuse the request. His initial response was, “You didn’t hear me.” But, we had heard him, we just didn’t agree with him.

He hated that, so he would try a new approach. When we still disagreed, it was frustrating for him to understand that, because we were in the position of authority over him, we could base decisions on our convictions rather than his persuasive speech.

We respected his ability with words. We respected his desire to help us see things from his perspective. We respected that he wanted us to agree on things. But, we could still disagree with him. His plans were thwarted so he felt disrespected.

Recently there seems to be some mistaking of disagreement for disrespect within the Christian community, especially on social media where disagreement is often stated disrespectfully. The problem with this is that disrespect brings along a lot of emotion, where disagreement sticks with the facts.

A “good” disagreement can bring about healthy change. If a person can clearly state why they believe something, I am more than happy to listen. If my understanding of things doesn’t change, even after a lengthy discussion, our disagreement remains.  That’s okay (unless it’s something clearly spelled out in the Bible, then I will trust God’s Word to rule the outcome of the debate).

As it was with our son, so it is now. It’s not that people do not hear, it’s that people do not agree. Must Christians agree on every point? Is it disrespectful to disagree?

A whole lot of growth and maturing happened in our family from these discussions, even when one of us was unhappy with the outcome.

Has the Church fallen back to our relationships’ being based on who we agree with is who we follow?

In 1Corinthians 1:11-12 , Paul addresses the issue of who people were following with, “For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers. What I mean is that each one of you says, ‘I follow Paul,’ or ‘I follow Apollos,’ or ‘I follow Cephas,’ or ‘I follow Christ.’”

Paul appeals to the Corinthian Christians to be united, reminding them that they are to be of the same mind (that of Christ) and the same judgment, not following any man.

In this world, we will never all agree on every point. But, even when we disagree, we can love one another and respect each other’s rights to think differently.

If a change of mind is required by God, He is capable of using our disagreements to convict the heart of another when we have not been successful at it. Are we willing to wait for Him to do the work and love our neighbor anyway?