Examine Closely!
Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as He is righteous. 1 John 3:7
“Deception never produces good.” Mrs. Child, “The Mother’s Book”*
I always think about deception at Christmas time. Neither my husband nor I came to know the Lord until our children were pre-teens. At our house Santa was “real” for the first several years of their lives.
My children were incensed when they understood the truth that we had deceived them for so long! Since that time we were careful about what we told them.
In her book, “The Mother’s Book,” written by “Mrs. Child” in 1831, Mrs. Child addresses deceiving our kids (she would have said “children,” not kids). She starts with the bigger picture of the whole family saying, “Let your family never hear trifling deceptions glossed over by any excuses: speak of them with unlimited abhorrence and contempt.”
She is advising us not to tolerate lying and then making excuses for that lie in our children. But she continues to point out that there is a lot that is learned from us that we do not intend to teach.
To her reader, individually, she says, “Above all things, let your own habits be of the strictest truth. Examine closely! You will be surprised to find in how many little things we act insincerely.”
She ends the section with, “Deception never produces good.”
This needs no more explanation. Her point is well taken. Our children will do what we teach them…whether we teach them intentionally or unintentionally.
Mrs. Child’s most convicting words are, “Examine closely!” Many of us are deceiving someone (children, husbands, parents, siblings, bosses, co-workers, ministry friends, etc.) in a way we may not see when we do it.
Most Christian parents would not intentionally deceive their children. Trying not to remember when I did it (other than Santa), there was a time someone else did that surprised us.
Our son was invited to go home with a new friend from church just after we started attending a Bible believing church. The family stopped for lunch on the way home. The father told my son to say he was a year younger than he was so his lunch would cost less. It was the first thing our son reported when he got home. We had been deceived by their roles in church thinking our son was going into a godly environment. We were wrong. His “visit” with a friend turned into a teaching moment.
“Acting insincerely” is an interesting phrase that I presume meant that the parents would say one thing but do another (like our church acquaintances). For example they teach the children to “love your neighbor,” but fail to take the time to check on the widow next door or provide help when it’s needed.
Children are paying attention all the time. Even with adults, “deception never produces good.”
Kids understand more than we give them credit for. So, let’s listen to Mrs. Child and “examine (ourselves) closely” and pray that the Lord would show us if we are deceiving our children by “acting insincerely.”
*The Mother’s Book,” Mrs. Child, Carter and Hendee, Boston, Mass., 1831
Im glad to have read this.
I do not celebrate Christmas. I stopped 5 years ago.
For Santa…lying to your children may have them growing up to winder if anything else is false…like Jesus.
Excellent article.
Hello Beth – that is a challenge and yet how many myths have I taught my adult children over the years.Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy for starters.
And with three Grandchildren the cycle has already started again.
Hmmm – you have me thinking
Bob – The “grands” are a challenge because this is a parental decision. I am grateful that our daughter has ended the cycle. They/we celebrate Christmas and she has taught her children not to correct other children, but that Santa is not real. It is a blessing to see them love Christmas and Easter without the world’s reasoning!
Happy New Year! Beth
As we spiritually grow, things like this become more clear. We used to do Santa Clause with my oldest daughter was really young. As she grew older, we stopped (to the chagrin of many family members). It just didn’t feel right and my kids don’t really miss it nor does it take away from their experience. But this is one of those things I wouldn’t necessarily address with other Christians, (especially if they are new Christians) other than explain why I don’t do it. It is one of those things I believe families need to be convicted on their own. And I know you are talking about deception in general, which is a very important topic, but I mention it, because this is one of those things I know people will try to bring to someone’s attention when heart issues have not been addressed.
I see your point Luisa, Santa is a hard topic if one is not committed to Christ and it is not essential to the Gospel so discernment is necessary. Deception, however, as Mrs. Child points out in her book, never leads to good! I think that because “Santa” is something so culturally accepted – some don’t realize it is deceptive to teach our children about him.
Happy New Year! Beth
So fascinating that the perspective in Mrs. Child’s book from 190 years ago is relevant in today’s world. Your post is causing me a level of discomfort, which to me means that the Holy Spirit is saying “Listen up!”
Beth,
Deceiving is lying and while that is sin. However, children also need to be taught to use their minds and learn to think critically. Teaching that Santa is a fairy tale can be fun just as we pretend when we read or watch Snow White, Star Wars, Sleeping Beauty….children need to be able to dream….it is part of the fun of childhood. The fairy tale life ends all too soon. Let them dream and be kids… In my profession I see kids forced into growing up too soon, they have missed part of the fun of childhood. By the way…St. Nicholas was a real person who gave money away and spread the message of salvation.
I understand your point, Brenda but would think that Santa is different because he crowds out Christ in so many ways. Other fairy tales concern me less because they are not really religious in nature. I do know about St. Nicholas but he is a far cry from the “Santa” of our day. Perhaps we should tell children more about him and let them think about how they could be like him in generosity, witness for Christ, and compassion! Happy New Year!
Sorry I missed this comment, Jamie! Mrs. Child has some very precious teaching for Moms of today. I must say there are also things I would not teach: she recommends that it would be better to tie a child to a chair in discipline rather than placing them in a dark closet! I would not choose either of these! :>) However, she definitely is more simplistic than most of us are today. Ia m enjoying the book but wouldn’t necessarily recommend it!