Frustration or Reconciliation

 

This will not be a venting of my own frustrations. I posted an article on April 13^th   that prompted someone to ask, “Is it really wrong to vent our frustrations?” The answer isn’t a simple yes or no. It has a whole lot to do with who we vent to and what our motives are when we do the venting.

That particular post discussed a friend who was frustrated with people who had committed to help with a fairly large project and had backed out at the last minute. Their yes was not yes. (In Matthew 5:37 Jesus tells us, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”)

It would certainly have been appropriate for her to remind each one of the commitment they had made – not just to her but to God – in that they needed to let their yes be yes in obedience to His command. The goal of that conversation would be the conviction of sin and reconciliation with the Lord.

Now, beyond that it gets a little sticky to even tell someone about the situation using names or anything that would identify the people involved. If we’re seeking godly counsel about how to handle a situation it’s probably okay and including our spouses (as I talked about in 1+1=1 )  seems acceptable, too.

Proverbs 15:22, Without counsel plans f ail, but with many advisers they succeed.

But even with this most of the times that the word counsel is used in the Bible it is telling of God’s counsel as good and right and the counsel of men as flawed.

Far too frequently our idea of venting frustration is to go to others and talk about the people and the circumstances in such detail that all we’re doing is gossiping. What is the need of another to know? What is our need to tell? We know that God sees the heart. In the heart are the motives. Are we really trying to seek a solution or are we trying to make sure that others know of the wrong done to us or how good we look compared to them?

The Bible puts this in words that are understandable. Look at the following verses:

Proverbs 16:2, All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.

 Ephesians 4: 26-27 and 29, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.      Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Who benefits when we vent our frustrations on anyone but God? The wisest counsel we can ever have is from HIM. Often we pick up the phone to call a friend for their input before we’ve brought the matter before the Lord. Who is more qualified than our Creator and our offender’s Creator to lead us to speak the right words or offer the right actions when we’re frustrated?

 Please, after praying, seek wise counsel from those who know the Scripture and the power of God if your goal is to reconcile with the person you’re venting about. If reconciliation is not your goal, speak to the Lord and be quiet about it everywhere else until reconciliation is your goal. That is usually best established just between the two of you. God included instructions for achieving that in Matthew 18: 15-17.