Gender Cannot be Neutral

I read the article about the couple from Canada who are trying to keep the gender identity of their third child a secret from the world until “it” has the opportunity to decide for “itself” who “it” wants to be.  Just writing the sentence makes me feel sorry for the child!

This article appeared in our local paper while my two grandchildren were gone for two weeks.  They’re back and I am watching them play; trying to imagine gender neutrality.  My granddaughter brings me a  “Princess dress” to help her get into while my grandson –  11 months old – is trying to climb over (not into) a little rocking chair.   There is definitely a way that we interact with the boy differently than the girl but these behaviors are of their own choices.

Our granddaughter has been petite from birth.  When they had an ultrasound done she acquired the nickname “Gummi Bear” because that’s just what she looked like, a tiny, sweet, Gummi bear!  Bruce on the other hand has been nicknamed “Buck”.  He’s a bruiser in build and a bull in a china shop most of the time. If you met him today I don’t care how we dressed him you could not be “gender neutral” about this child.

Interestingly, even with the cute nicknames, Stella is adventurous and smart. She loves to play with tools and was thrilled with a ride on a four wheeler which she got to experience with friends in Virginia last week. No one here thinks or pretends that she will be a “girlie girl” all the time. She loves a beautiful dress and she loves an adventure. She is as well rounded about her “gender identity” as anyone under four can be.

Bruce, at 11 months old, in all of his male behaviors is a mama’s boy. When the chips are down that boy only wants his Mom. I praise God he knows he can count on her. She is the quickest route to having his needs met. He has a little – adorable – stuffed puppy that he doesn’t sleep without.  Some would think these are “girlish” behaviors. He’s a baby. Gender identity is not an issue for him!

Both of these kids – I think– are going to grow up recognizing that they are multi-faceted creatures made in the image of God. Genesis 1:27-28 say, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.  And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Men and women are equally made in the image of God. God spoke to them both, giving them the same commandment to be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth.  But, God made them different. The woman was made as a helper for the man (Genesis 2:20-23). She’s not less – her role is different so God made them different so they could do the work He has for them both. He wants us to experience success, joy, and peace in our work. If we try to do things we aren’t made for we experience frustration, anger, and disappointment.  

I am afraid that a child raised to be “gender neutral” is never going to live a fully satisfied life because they won’t know what they were made for unless they come to know the Lord and receive instruction from the Word of God. I pray this couple’s three children will all come to know the Lord along with their parents.

Man has tainted the roles of men and women.  We probably have confused people by not allowing men to show emotion and women to show strength. But, for a person to be gender neutral has the potential to confuse them. They won’t grow up with a firm understanding of the man or woman they were meant to be but instead will feel like an “It” with no real identity at all.  

Gender is an either/or question – there is no neutral.