Girlie Girl

 Your adornment must not be merely external–braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:3-5

Let me say first that I am not a girlie girl.  I was on athletic teams in high school, learned to shoot a gun with my dad at an early age, would still rather be in jeans and a sweatshirt than anything too frilly, and if given the chance I would rather lead than follow.  But, I do think that there are great advantages to being a woman and want to uphold the Biblical picture of womanhood. 

Over the last several months there has been this underlying theme in a lot of my reading.  I have either read something in the newspaper, had an article sent to me, or there would be something in a magazine that I have come across that speaks to the subject of women being women and men being men.  Somewhere in the last fifty years we (the American culture) have become confused about gender and it doesn’t seem to be getting any clearer.

One article stands out in my memory. In a recent World Magazine there was an article about a fourteen year old boy in Iowa who forfeited a State Wrestling Championship match because he would not wrestle against a girl.  She had made it to the state finals, she would have been a real opponent, but he could not get violent with a girl.  He believes it to be disrespectful.  He is taking some real heat for making a big deal of this.  But, he didn’t.  He quietly stated his case and forfeited the match.  The media blew it up.  I have to mention that these are Christian principles he’s standing on.   It’s hard to discern if the media wanted to stand up for women or stand against a Christian value. 

Even though I am not a girlie girl  I am glad that wrestling at 189 pounds my son never had to deal with wrestling a girl.  Some of his teammates did and it was never pretty.  How and where was a nice boy to grab and hold?  How bad was it if you won in the first few seconds (which often happened)?  How embarrassing if you lost – even if it was because you were to respectful to grab and hold her as you would a male opponent?

There seems to be a distorted view of what the Bible says about male/female relationships and how men are to treat women and how women are to behave with men.  1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands this way: “ Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” Though this calls us weaker (which we really can’t deny physically) it also calls us partners to be treated with respect and as worthy of the grace of God as our husbands. 

The woman of Proverbs 31 is more precious than jewels to her husband.  “She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:12) She works inside and outside the home though her home is the obvious priority in her life.  She is wise in her business transactions and generous and compassionate to the poor and needy.  “Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at time to come.  She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:25-26)  Above all else she fears the Lord, “but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30b)

Sadly, we have come a long way from using this Biblical woman as our role model for teaching and directing the lives of young women.  In our humanistic culture, the home is not a priority and fearing God is not as valued as proving our equality with men.  

The truth is that from a young age girls are showing little respect for boys – on or off the athletic field or mat.  Grown women (including Christian women) make jokes and pass email forwards bashing men and wonder why their husbands and their sons don’t feel respected.  We’re working hard to displace them in the home by taking over every traditional male and fatherly role in the family.  But, we still want our men to be men when we don’t want to be.  Our culture has gotten confused. 

I am grateful for a husband who values me and encourages me to do what God has called me to do.  I am grateful to our God for creating me as He has, different, even weaker than my husband. I am even more grateful that I have not had to compete with him either physically or intellectually but can be his partner in our marriage as he honors my input and opinions on weighty matters.  He is both physically stronger and intellectually smarter than I but that is just fine with me.

Even though I have never been a girlie girl neither have I ever felt the need to compete with boys/men athletically or physically.  I don’t know exactly what motivates a young girl to want that experience.  I am sure, though, that that young man from Iowa is going to make some woman a wonderful husband someday as he has already learned how to show honor to a woman.

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.  Ephesians 5:33