Glad Husband Sorry Wife
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22
Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave. Martin Luther.
The Bible has a lot to say about how husbands should treat their wives and how wives should love their husbands. Many of us have read it, but fail to do what it says.
Marriage is God’s idea – His instructions will be the most informed.
Some women say it seems their husbands live separate from them even though they share a house and bed. Things started off well but over the years there has been a drifting, an emotional and spiritual separation that seems to grow farther apart over time. The lingering question seems to be, “How can I fix it?”
The desire to “fix” it is a good sign.
However, often these women (as women are who generally read this blog) have not considered God’s instructions. There is a deep resentment or bitterness that has been festering long enough to make the heart hard toward their husband. Resentment and bitterness can make a marriage hard work and difficult to get back to God’s standard (Hebrews 12:15).
I would challenge all wives to consider Martin Luther’s admonition. Are our husband’s glad to come home? Are we sorry to see our husband’s leave?
Colossians 3:8 says that we are to “Take off anger, rage, malice, slander, and obscene talk from our mouths.” Verse 12 tells us to “Put on then, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.”
This a prescription for healing.
How would our husbands respond if we became humble, kind, and patient? The instructions in verse 13 could be even more life- (or marriage-) changing: “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
This is a challenge, especially if you have a husband who doesn’t show any of these qualities to you. Someone has to take the first step to restore a broken marriage. It will not happen in a hurry. It requires patience and perseverance, forgiveness and love.
We have to decide how important our marriage is. Do we take our original vows (spoken before God) seriously? Are we willing to make the effort even if he does not respond immediately?
For those of us in long term marriages, old habits and resentments are hard to overcome. Change requires the power of the Holy Spirit. We need to listen to the words that come out of our mouths and hear them as our husband’s will.
My hope is that if we work at creating a home our husband is glad to come back to, that we will again enjoy that husband we are sorry to see leave.
(I am not letting men off the hook here. It takes two to make a marriage good. Most men want that as much as their wives do. There are many women who are in physically and emotionally abusive marriages. If that’s you, please seek help. What you are able to “put on” may not make much difference without outside intervention. This is a website that may be of help: http://www.leslievernick.com/pdfs/Relationship test.pdf )