Good Friends
One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. Proverbs 12:26
I was a new Christian when I heard a man teach that a best friend for a Christian can only be another Christian. I was a little irritated by the statement. As I have grown in my understanding of what God wants for His people, I now agree.
Our best friends are those people close enough to have a real influence on our lives. The Bible warns us to choose wisely, as the verse above warns, bad company will ruin good morals. How do we avoid being “led astray?”
God gives us teaching on this issue. These verses (and the one at the top of the page) speak to the process of not being deceived into a relationship with someone who may be “ bad company.”
- Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9
- A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends. Proverbs 16:28
- Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler. Proverbs 20:19
- Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare. Proverbs 22:24-25
These verses warn us that people who display these tendencies will not be good for us.
Jesus said, “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you (John 15:15).”
Think about all the ways that Jesus either demonstrated friendship or taught about it.
He befriended people by loving them in teaching them what God the Father had made known to Him (John 15:15). He befriended them by loving them enough to lay down His life for them (John 15:13). He befriended them by speaking the truth about their behavior (John 15:2). He befriended them by teaching about the expectations of God (John 15:3, 4, 8, 10).
In John 15:11 Jesus tells His disciples what would be in it for them when they show they are His friends by obeying His commands. “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 15:11 Then, He set the example by obeying the commands of His Father.
If we were each to examine our own behaviors and attitudes, as well as our beliefs, would we make good friends? If we look closely at our best friends, have we made wise choices?
Recognizing that no one is perfect, will we heed the wisdom of scripture? Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals. 1 Corinthians 15:33
If we were each to examine our own behaviors and attitudes, as well as our beliefs, would we make good friends? If we look closely at our best friends, have we made wise choices? These are such great questions to ponder over and look at the person we are becoming!
Thank you Ava, Glad it struck a chord with you. Friendship is a precious gift.
This paragraph about Jesus shows us the model for our friendship toward other believers: “He befriended people by loving them in teaching them what God the Father had made known to Him (John 15:15). He befriended them by loving them enough to lay down His life for them (John 15:13). He befriended them by speaking the truth about their behavior (John 15:2). He befriended them by teaching about the expectations of God (John 15:3, 4, 8, 10).
So, the questions are: Do I teach the truth about what Jesus has made known to me to my friends when the time is right and when those words will benefit them? Do I lay down my life for my friends or only serve them when it’s convenient for me? Do I love my friends by lovingly speaking the truth about their behavior when it’s not in line with Christian ethics? Do I love my friends by gently reminding them of God’s expectations when they make decisions and choose actions?
Do I do this with the kindness and mercy of Christ? Am I a good friend? This is a good evaluator. Great post, Beth!
Yeah, I think this is right. I mean, it’s important to have non-believing friends, too, but for those in our inner circle, just as Jesus’ closest disciples, we need other believers. We are, after all, a part of a bigger thing – the Body of Christ, and it has many parts of which we need to participate. Non-believers have yet to be grafted into the Body, and so, hopefully, they will someday. In the meantime, our closest friends need to be those who can understand this bigger narrative to life and our purpose in it.
Great questions for each of us to ponder. Are all of our friendships honoring God and do we bring all our friends to the feet of Jesus?
Thanks, Yvonne. Good point.
Praying for them is also good!
Yes, Lisa! We want friends who will “strengthen our hand in God” as Jonathan did for David.
Excellent applications there, Melinda! Thanks so much.
This is so good, Beth. I, too, have come to realize over time that our closest people must be Christian – to support our faith walk and hold us accountable, and vice versa. I am trying very hard to teach this to my kids: MARRY a Christian. Have your BEST FRIENDS be Christian.
Great teaching, Jessica! We can make a biblical case for both spouses and closest friends being Christian. I pray the Lord blesses your children by your teaching.
Yes, we all need wisdom and insight from the Lord and His Word about friends in our lives. 1 Corinthians 15:33 has always been my go-to Scripture. Like when I was the student director at our church for nearly 10 years. And yet, it’s not only good advice for teens. It’s spiritual wisdom for all of us about choosing our friends carefully and strategically.
It is true, Karen, that we teach kids truths that we then fail to apply to our own lives. That’s a good observation and one that will have me thinking! Thanks.
Truth.
It may not be popular, but it is true.
Yes Ava, As hard as it is sometimes, I try to be more concerned with what God says rather than what man says.
I have two “best” friends who have been crucial in helping me walk through dark days. Their faithful counsel kept me from walking the wrong way more than once. We need friends of faith to help us. Great counsel in your post. God bless!
Nancy, What a gift to have two faithful friends! It is true that they can be lights in dark days. May you continue to be blessed, and be a blessing, in those relationships.
Agreed! Just had a talk with a good friend of mine this morning and one thing we appreciate about each other is honesty. True friendship is hard to find and when you can count them, on one hand, you are blessed. Thanks for this powerful post God Bless
Thanks Stephen! I appreciate the support!