Grace for the Humble
“I don’t want to be the reason my kids need counseling.”
This was stated by a man who was testifying about his reasons for joining a program for men addicted to porn. He had seen how it was affecting his entire family.
In his addiction, he was willing to consider his children. How many other things (sins) should some of us give up because our actions are harming someone close to us?
Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves (ESV).
This verse makes it clear that we are to consider others in our decision making and in our plans, even in our New Year’s resolutions. Often people think that they are standing alone, that they can do whatever they want and it isn’t anyone else’s business.
It’s true that it may not be everyone else’s business but most of our decisions affect someone, especially family members and co-workers. When we fail to consider them we may be considering ourselves more important. We esteem our desires above the needs of others.
There are things that we can consider and pray about, trying to take everyone affected into account, and still make decisions that will make someone unhappy or uncomfortable. Things like financial decisions, job related or healthcare decisions. Sometimes people feel angry or hurt when we give up sin because, in some way, they have benefitted from it.
The problem of decisions regarding sin is clear. When we choose to sin, knowing that it will have an effect on others, we are choosing our own desires above those whom we should be considering more important than ourselves. These would include things like adultery, pornography use, theft, lying and cheating so we lose a job. There are many more.
When we choose to avoid things like that, God says He will bless us. When we choose to do what we want and not what God wants, He promises to curse that behavior (Deuteronomy 11:26-28). This means it is not just others who benefit when we choose to do right, it’s good for us, too.
A Christian man who makes changes because he sees the damage he has done in the family because of his porn addiction (or adultery, gambling problem, drinking problem or ______________ [you fill in the blank]), will be blessed for setting aside his own desires and turning from that sin.
Yes, the sins carry consequences that may take time to resolve; but isn’t it better to move forward pleasing God rather than experiencing His wrath?
It is a humble act to admit and turn from our sin so that we, and others, will know the blessing of the Lord. God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6 NKJV).