Great Love

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.  John 15:13

Cancer. It is a terrible word to hear about yourself or a close friend… or a sister.

Several years ago I had a good friend who was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer.  She did all the normal stuff, chemo, radiation, changed her diet, and prayed, and prayed, and prayed. The prognosis was not good.

Though she had been too young to retire she had left the workplace a few years before the diagnosis. Her husband was still working fulltime in a demanding job. He had been at the same profession for years and was high in the ranks of seniority.

Right after the wife was diagnosed, the husband retired, many years early. He became her nurse, her chauffer, her housekeeper, and her cook. He took extremely good care of her. He encouraged her to see friends and go out to lunch when she was feeling up to it. He accompanied her to every regular appointment, every second opinion, and helped her search alternatives to the things that did not appear to be working. She battled long and hard and had some really good times, a couple of really nice trips with her husband, and lots of tender, loving, care in her last years.

She won some battles along the way but ultimately lost the war with cancer in her body. At her funeral I was watching the husband and her children meet and greet those who came to mourn her loss and to express their sympathy to her family. Her husband was at peace, or at least he appeared to be. He had laid down his life for his wife. He put aside his own accomplishments in a well-established business and let her needs rule his life for the next few years.

“Laying down our lives” does not have to include death  Matthew 16:24 says, ‘Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”’

What my friend’s husband had done was to deny himself for her sake. She was a believer in Jesus Christ and so is he. He knew she was going to go to heaven when she died. His immediate concern was not that she would die but that her life would be full and that she would know she was loved. She did, because he laid down his life for her.

As we studied Matthew 16:24 in church this morning I realized that this is not a call to become suddenly mindful of those we love when we know their lives are about to end (which I am not accusing my friend’s husband of, by the way), but this is to be a way of life for us. If we are disciples of Jesus Christ, we will be conformed to His image. One of the things He consistently did was to put others before Himself. When He was weary from performing miracles He would go to get away and pray but the crowds followed Him. He turned to them and performed more miracles. (Matthew 14)

When Jesus met the woman at the well, He was unconcerned about what others would think of His staying and talking privately with a Samaritan woman. His behavior would not have been acceptable to many of the day, but He knew she would benefit from time with Him. He stayed, she understood who He was, and told many more about Him.

The example set by our Lord Jesus, and by others who have followed Him, is that there is a cost to laying down our lives for others, but there is also a reward when we follow His example. (John 4)

Denying ourselves is an unpopular concept in our culture. For many people if there is no immediate benefit for them, they will not do it. We want everything to be profitable, not costly. In order to follow Christ, we must deny ourselves for the sake of others, perhaps even for the sake of Christ’s reputation. In Philippians 2:3 Paul commands us, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”

My friend’s husband who gave up his career to care for her did it because God had changed his heart. He wanted to serve His wife and he could do that by being with her. He wanted to serve the Lord and he could also do that by caring for his wife. He was following the command of Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”

Who do you and I need to give up ourselves for so we can serve them and God? Are we this zealous for His glory?