Honoring Marriage

 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

 

A friend is moving away because her husband’s work is in another city. The wife has been here a long time and there was a little gathering to say good-bye. Their home had finally sold and so there was some celebrating to do – for some.  

 

While there I heard this conversation:

Lady 1: (Sadly) I can’t believe she’s leaving. Things will never be the same without her.

Lady 2: I know, but this is really good for her husband.

 Lady 1: Who cares? (And she was not kidding.)

This was a gathering of professing Christians. The wife has never been especially happy about the plan to move but she is willing because it is where her husband works. It’s certainly not encouraging for her to have “friends” make comments like these. As our culture has lost respect for marriage, so have many who claim to be God’s children. Where’s the biblical concept that the two become one? “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24). When they are one, whatever is good for him is good for her and vice versa.

 

I was not really sure what to do with this conversation but it has given me a reason to grieve one more thing the Christian has surrendered to the culture.  In God’s eyes marriage is sacred. Hebrews 13: 4 starts like this: “Let marriage be held in honor among all.” Is the church failing to teach the scriptures or are people so tainted by the ways of the world that we have lost a sense of God’s priorities?

 

I recently read that divorce in the United States is at its lowest rates since 1970.  This may sound like a reason to celebrate but the report was not so promising. “The experts” believe this is because so many more couples are living together rather than marrying.  They don’t need to divorce to split up. It is important to know that the effects of the split of an unmarried couple with children is just as devastating to the children as a divorce is for the children of married couples. (http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-201_162-2789615.html)

 

Though I am concernd about the way Christians view marriage I also think this conversation says something about the way we view friendship – or at least the way this one woman does. The place of the most blessing for us is in the center of God’s will. Why would we not want our friends to experience His blessing? By encouraging a married woman to disrespect a decision she and her husband have made puts her at odds with God.  Ephesians 5:33says, “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

 

Friends need to build one another up – not tear down their husbands or marriages. I don’t know why there were hard feelings about the husband (and I did not want to ask) but I know that this conversation was not helpful. The words were spoken from sadness for herself rather than rejoicing for her friend. She saw the friendship as more important than the marriage.

Proverbs 17:17 says that a friend will love at all times. That should include even those times we are not happy about the decisions our friends have made with their husbands.  We may not understand the relationship between two that the Lord brings together – but we have a Biblcal responsibility to support and encourage strong marriages.