I Got! I Got It!

This month has been a roller coaster ride. I have experienced the satisfaction of helping someone in a  very practical way, the grief over the illness and death of a close friend, joy over good test results for my husband while walking with him through a rough couple of days after a minor surgical procedure. I have had more spiritually challenging conversations with other people this month than I have had for the rest of the year totaled. It can be difficult to explain the sovereignty of God to someone who is going through a difficult set of circumstances. Sometimes I question their questions.

It’s not like I never doubt God,  but it’s usually momentary. When it seems like there are a hundred balls coming at me, when things are really getting out of control and it looks like one more is coming right for my face, God is the Divine outfielder calling me off, shouting, “I got it!  I got it!”  He hasn’t dropped one yet.

Sometimes I feel guilty about not being more upset by what has happened in my life in this last year.  It seems like I cry much easier over a Hallmark commercial than over real events. It’s not that I am not sad, or even sometimes, mad, about these things. I am grateful that somewhere deep in my heart the truth has been planted in me that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. I really believe Him.

A commentary I used to study through 1 and 2 Samuel a few years ago taught me to always look for what God was doing. These can be confusing books if you read them for face value. The deeper value in those passages was found in seeing the work that God was doing in and through His people.

In life, in the good, the bad, the hard, the harsh,  the fun, the rejoicing, and the weeping, that study has trained me to ask, “What is God doing here?” I don’t always see what He is doing. Sometimes I think I do and then I have to remind myself that I do not know the mind of God. I can speculate about what He is doing, but I never truly KNOW what His purposes are.

Just asking myself the question reminds me that He is doing something , and then I remember that all He does is good. Even better than that — it is what is good for me, for my husband, even for  my friend, and my sister. It is a comforting thing to rest in the goodness of the Lord.

Will I ever doubt God again? I know I will, maybe for more than a moment. In His grace I believe He will remind me again of all that He has done for me through Jesus Christ, all those things that have worked out for my good, and I will trust Him for the next time.

Do you, too, occasionally doubt God? I don’t think He is surprised by it. He left us instructions to “be merciful to those who doubt”. (Jude 1:22) Next time, will we be willing to look for what good He is doing, because whatever He does is good? Sometimes you have to look for it.

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.           Psalm 86:5