Irritating and Provoking
Have you met someone who seemed to be trying to irritate and provoke you? It seems like there are people in our lives who have a greater ability than others to bring us to the brink of our emotional stability. Sometimes the result is anger, sometimes discouragement, and sometimes depression or worse. They can get the best of us.
My favorite question to ask is, “What is God doing?” I firmly believe what the Bible teaches about God’s sovereignty so I know that these people are placed in our lives for a reason. Are aggravation and irritation tools of the Lord?
The study of Hannah, Samuel’s mother, and Peninnah, the “other” wife of Hannah’s husband can give us some clues. They were archrivals because they had the same husband (a big part of the problem but not what I am trying to address here). 1 Samuel 1:2 informs us, “And Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.”
If that were the end of it there would only be a sad wife and a satisfied wife but there was way more to the relationship between these two women. This is how the scriptures describe it in 1 Samuel 1:4-5 “On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the LORD had closed her womb.”
It is obvious to me that neither wife was happy. Hannah was the favorite wife making Peninnah miserable and Peninnah had many children though Hannah’s womb was closed by God. This infertility was obviously her issue because her husband had fathered many children with the other wife. However, Peninnah was not satisfied to be the fertile wife, she gave words to her jealousy and pride to irritate Hannah.
Verse 6 says, “And her (Hannah’s) rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the LORD had closed her womb. So it went on year by year. As often as she went up to the house of the LORD, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat.” Peninnah is a grown woman teasing another grown woman about having no children. She was so merciless that Hannah wept and could not eat!
The good news for the children of God is that this provocation from Peninnah drove Hannah to the Lord in prayer. She promised God that if he would give her a child she would dedicate his life to the Lord and the Lord gave her Samuel. After Samuel was weaned he was taken to be raised by the priest Eli. He grew up to be a great spiritual leader and judge of the people of Israel. He was a faithful servant of God.
God blessed Hannah and gave her more sons and daughters. We learn nothing more about the irritating and aggravating woman, Peninnah.
Right now, there are no really irritating people in my life. But, I know that isn’t always the case. The Lord has challenged us all with people and personalities many times. Like Hannah, these are often the people closest to us, the ones we have to live with day in and day out. Children and husbands, teachers and pastors, bosses and co-workers. For the Christian they are often brothers and sisters in the Lord. What is God doing?
We often learn that we can be “happy in Jesus” in spite of our circumstances. Can we also be happy in spite of the difficult people God has placed in our lives? As we look at the attributes of God that we are to be conformed to from Colossians 3:12-13 (compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive) how are we to respond to these irritating people? When we know the fruits of the Spirit we receive as a gift of our salvation (But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, Galatians 5:22-23 ) what are we to feel about the way these people treat us?
Like Hannah, we need to turn to the Lord. The scripture says that she poured out her soul to God. 1 Samuel 1:10 says, “She was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly.” She did not hang around and try to counsel Peninnah about her evil ways, we need to turn to the Lord and ask for relief. Hannah could not change Peninnah any more than we can change those who irritate us.
If these are our closest relationships, husbands and children, what then? Is the Lord at work? A child needs to be instructed in the ways of the Lord, retaught if necessary. Colossians 3 is for them, too! A parent can train a child and must see it as a responsibility. An irritating child who is not retrained will be the Peninnah, not the Hannah.
Husbands are harder. A helpmate will respectfully let her husband know if he is in sin. We also need to examine our own behaviors. Are we also irritating? Are we holding a grudge from long ago that needs to be let go? Is there a real offense that needs to be addressed so trust and love can be rebuilt? That requires not only compassion and humility but courage. God will give it all. A marriage is a covenant. Covenants have no exit clause. Pray, speak to your husband, if you get nowhere, speak to a confidant who will encourage you in the Lord, and if he is still irritating and provoking anger, suggest a good Christian therapist.
Peninnah’s irritating words and behavior drove Hannah straight into the lap of the Lord. Nothing is impossible with Him.