Is There a Mother in the House?

Teach me good judgment and knowledge, for I believe in your commandments. Psalm 119:66 

 

As I was reading this morning’s newspaper I was reminded of an experience I had many years ago in a PTA meeting at our children’s elementary school.  The Reading School District was considering going to uniforms and the meeting was to get the reaction of the parents.

 

One parent was furious because the principle had given an explanation of why they were proposing uniforms.  The number of students wearing unacceptable or crass clothing was growing. She said it seemed that every day she was asking a parent to bring a different shirt or asking a student to wear the shirt inside out so the offensive words would not be visible to others.  

There was one mother there who was outraged. She had to leave for work before her children left for school so she felt that she could not be responsible for how they were dressed when they got there. I couldn’t believe my ears – this was an elementary school, grades pre-K through 5. I wanted to stand up and point out that these objectionable choices should not even be in their drawers or closets. How could a parent of a small child not be responsible for how they dress? 

This all came flooding back to me because there was an article in this morning’s paper about how to dress appropriately for work. The article pointed out that as warm weather approaches the manner of dress in the workplace changes.  It goes on to say that skirts that are too short and a blouse that shows too much cleavage are distracting in the workplace. This should not be news to any woman.  

That is where my question comes in, “Where is the Mom?” Maybe that would be better stated, “Where was the Mom?” I have to wonder if the Moms had taught their daughters back there in their elementary school years what was appropriate dress would we be dealing with the necessity for the newspaper to address proper workplace attire.  This is in no way a slam at working Moms.  I think that the teaching should have happened in the store when clothes were bought. A child should have no inappropriate choices. Whether they are going to school, a ballgame, or church on Sunday morning, the teaching to dress suitably needs to be started at a young age.  

I can remember talking to a friend when our girls were in high school who was actually afraid to correct her daughter about her clothing for fear she would react negatively.  If Mom’s are afraid to teach their daughters while in their teens – more and more employers are going to have to address appropriate attire in the workplace. I would much rather have a twenty something who already understands what the correct way to dress is than have to have her superior in the office approach her about it.  What an awkward conversation for a supervisor to have to have with an employee. Could this even lead to accusations of sexual harassment if the superior is a man?  

The Bible is very clear that it is the parents’ responsibility to parent. Kids need to be taught everything from the Word of God to how to take care of themselves, their belongings, and their relationships. Colossians 3:20 teaches, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”  They can only do this if the parents have done their job first.

This past weekend I taught on mentoring. One of the things that seems so clear to me is that there is a great deal of mentoring that happens when others simply observe the way we live – including our daughters and their friends. Titus 2:3-8 gives us instructions as women.  “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.  Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.” (emphasis mine)

Women, we are role models, especially if we are mothers, others learn from what we do. Our daughters and sons, their friends, even other adults in their lives see who they are and watch what we have done to influence them.  Are we good role models? Are we intentionally teaching our children all they need to know to live in a world that seems to have no rules through high school and college? When they hit the workplace, will they find their habits are offensive to some?  

I am not letting Dads off the hook here. It is just that in most homes it is the Mom who helps with shopping and fashion so they have a primary role to play in this issue. Dads should not allow a daughter out the door who is not appropriately dressed for her destination.  

I can’t tell you how many times I have seen a young girl dressed inappropriately and asked, “Where was her mother when she left the house?” Is someone else going to have to teach our children how to dress in the workplace because we have failed to do what God has called us to do.