It’s All About Upbringing

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4

 

“We can’t sit around and lament, ‘Well that’s how we were raised.’ We have to sit and talk about how we can restore.”

This statement was made by a man who grew up in a fatherless home, in a neighborhood where there were many fatherless homes.

I was encouraged to hear him speak about “restoring” and training the adult generation of men now, to raise the next generation of men in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

Be Transformed

My husband’s response to this statement was, “We can’t restore it. It would just take us back to what got us here in the first place. We have to transform this generation to raise the next.”

Romans 12:2 says, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the, “It’s how I was raised” argument. Or:

• I have a bad temper because I am (insert nationality here).
• I drink because I’m (insert nationality here).
• I’m unhappy because of my childhood.
• I am mean because my Dad was mean to me.

Many people have had upbringings that are less than ideal, and some were downright awful. Some people need help to get past the wrongs that were done to them. Some perceive more wrong than there was.

Transforming Power

The good news is that everyone can be transformed by the renewing of his or her mind. It takes study, prayer, and fellowship with others who want to know the will of God. It does not happen overnight or in a  vacuum. It does not happen unless one is seeking what is “good, acceptable, and perfect.”

The men I heard on the radio lived in an impoverished, crime ridden, neighborhood with mothers  who worked hard. They thought that getting out of the neighborhood was the answer.

There are plenty of people raised in intact, even wealthy, families who make these laments. When children are not parented according to God’s plan, the pain can run deep and last a long time.

As adults, we are responsible to God, not our upbringing.  The Word of God has the power to transform every home and neighborhood who truly seeks to know the will of God. Anger, abuse, loneliness, oppression, fear, poverty, depression, and all losses are, according to Scripture, able to be transformed by God into good for others.

I am thrilled that these men were concerned for the next generation. I pray that we would all be concerned for the next generation of our own families.

Will we pass down the hurt, pride, anger, etc. or will we make a concerted effort to be transformed by the Word of God so that the next generation will serve with gladness?