It’s Easy, “No”

Last week was a busy week, too busy.  I took on too many extra tasks and also had to accomplish things I had promised weeks before that I would do as a part of my ministry.  I taught my regular weekly Bible Study and had a retreat and Sunday School over the weekend.   I loved every minute of all of that and am not at all sorry to have taken it all on.

What I was not expecting were some things that cropped up at the last minute that I did not “feel” like I could turn away from.  There were meetings with people and phone calls that took longer than I had expected they would.  There were also a couple of things that I did that I should have ignored.  No one would have been hurt if I had just stayed home!

This is standing out to me more because a friend related a day recently when she ended up aggravated and unhappy because she had just taken on more than she should have.  She had taken no time to pray or think and she was exhausted at the end of what turned out to be a long weekend.  Even church on Sunday had been a chore because she went into the building without ever thinking about or preparing for worship – there was too much to do once she got there.

Why do we do this?  What are the limits and how do we set them and then keep them?  Do the scriptures address this?

It is interesting that the scriptures do call us to be busy.  Titus 2:5 instructs older women to teach the younger women to be busy at home.  The Bible warns against idleness.  In fact it is clear that those who are idle should reap what they sew.   In 2 Thessalonians 3:10-11 Paul says, “Even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies.”  So, we know we re not to do nothing.

In that same chapter Paul also advises the people not to grow weary of doing good (2 Thessalonians 3:13).  I don’t know about others but I have to admit that sometimes I wonder if I am weary because I have taken on too much. Perhaps that could be a warning sign for some of us, if we are getting weary we may just need a rest.  I say “for some” because, unfortunately, some people grow weary too soon, out of selfishness or laziness.  If God has called us to do a work for Him He will enable us to do it with the energy required.

Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42) teach us that there is busy work to be done but it is better to sit at the feet of Jesus to be taught and refreshed by Him.  Martha was busying herself while Mary was taking in the teaching of Christ.  Christ affirmed Mary and warned Martha that she was “anxious and troubled about many things, but only one thing is necessary.”  He told her that Mary had chosen the good portion that would not be taken from her.

We often seem to think that if something does not get done right away it will be too late.  Jesus wanted Martha to stop what she was doing to prepare to serve the meal and listen to His teaching.  How often do we skip the teaching to do the task?

Ephesians 2:8-10 are verses that talk about salvation but they also address the work God has for us to do.  “For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not of your doing: it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”  If we are taking on too much thinking that it will, in some way, win us extra favor with God, we have it all wrong.  If we are working so we can get to heaven, these verses throw that thinking right out the window. He has designed certain works for each one of His children.  When we go beyond His call, He is unimpressed. In fact, we may be taking a work He has prepared for someone else to do.

Some guidelines would be to start with prayer, asking God if an invitation to do something is part of the work that he has prepared for you or me.  In Acts 13:3 Paul and others prayed before sending Paul and Barnabas off to serve the Lord as He had called them.  It is a step we often skip in our desire to help.

Another practical thing to do is to look at the calendar.  What else is on it?   Do we have time to add this new work and still have time to pray, take care of family, work, and church obligations that are already there?  Is there something we can give up?

Then if we are married, we need to know what our husbands think.  Though we sometimes don’t like to admit this, they are close enough to us to see if we are already overloaded.  They know when the stress level is too high.  They see things we want to ignore.  They (hopefully and ideally) will have our best interest at heart.

Last, Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.  I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  If we are so busy that we cannot obey this command by being still before God regularly and exalting His name, then we are just too busy.

If we need to say “no” to someone, it really is easy; it is a one-syllable word, “No.”  Try it, it may save you a lot of stress and exalt God’s name!