Leading at Home

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”  Genesis 2:18  

Yesterday someone said to me that what the Bible teaches is not hard to understand but that it is hard to live out day to day.  I think this is only true when we fail to stay in God’s word, focused on Him and His glory.  In order to live for Him and obey His Word, we need constant reminders of His sovereignty and His blessing that comes from obedience to His Word.   

The context of the lady’s comment yesterday was marriage.  We were talking about Biblical submission and allowing our husbands to lead the family.  Most Christian women have some concept of what this is supposed to look like.  But, if our husbands don’t step up to the plate in our timing and we want something done – we just step in and do it.  When we do, we may be getting in the way of God as He works in our husbands.   

Most men love to have peace in their homes.  They don’t want to fight or even have to battle for position.  They will not always insist on their rights to lead.  If we want it, they often give it up to keep the peace.  Peace in the home is a good thing.  But true peace comes from the blessings of doing things God’s way.  If we take over the leadership role – there will no peace.  Perhaps there will be for a moment in time, but in the long run it will bring frustration for the husband and the wife.  

This does not mean that a woman may not express her opinion or try to warn her husband if she sees him in sin.  One of the points in that discussion yesterday was that God created woman as a helpmate.  “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18) The man needs our help or God would not have created us!   

In Philippians 3:17 Paul says, “Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.”  This sounds arrogant to us but the truth is that Paul is trying to protect the Philippians from going astray.  There were false teachers that wanted them to follow their example.  Paul was warning them to only follow the example of living for Jesus Christ as he had set for them.   

Marriage has been so distorted by the world, by the feminist movement of the 60s and 70s that we have to be very careful of the examples we are willing to follow.  Titus 2 commands older women to teach the younger women.  Many older Christian women have struggled through the same issues in their marriages as the ones we face today.  Our immediate response is usually to go for advice to our nearest girlfriend.  Let’s do this the biblical way, find an older woman who has studied the Bible, who has lived in a godly marriage for a long time, and ask her, seek her counsel about how to submit without becoming that proverbial doormat.  God created us to be helpmates – not doormats.  

If we want control of our husbands, there will be consequences in our marriages and we will lose the blessings of the abundant life that God offers the faithful follower of Jesus Christ.  If we do things God’s way we receive the blessing and know peace in our hearts and in our homes.  

As I have studied this I have come to understand that the two greatest tools we have for bettering our marriages are a godly life and prayer.  1 Peter 3:1-2 say, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,  when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”  Is our conduct toward our husbands respectful and pure?   

In that same chapter Peter teaches that, “the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer.” (1 Peter 3:12)  Are we praying for our husbands rather than preaching to them?   

When we do things God’s way we are more likely to see the changes that will take the ungodly husband and turn him into a godly husband. In order to know this blessing we must stay in His word so we know how God expects us to respond to our daily circumstances.  We will be blessed when we are obedient – that obedience is to God which includes allowing our husbands the freedom to lead at home.