Mom, the Clothing Police

…likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness–with good works.  1 Timothy 2:9-10

This past Sunday my husband and I led a discussion after viewing a Paul Tripp video series on parenting. (Getting to the Heart of Parenting) This particular lesson was on teaching your 0 – 5 year old the place of authority in his/her little life.  Tripp’s emphasis was on how important it is for a parent to establish their place of authority in the child’s life so that later, in their pre-teens and teens, the authority won’t be questioned. Even more importantly, to establish for the child the security God has offered us by placing authorities over us. We all live under authority; there is no autonomy.

The discussion covered several aspects of this, including how exhausting it is, especially with small children, to be diligent enough to get this message of authority incorporated into their lives.  If you are exhausted at the end of the day from saying, “No” and then discussing it to make sure the child understands where you see rebellion, Tripp has this to say: “Praise Jesus! You are doing your job!”

This morning I got into a discussion with some women on a mission to lose some weight about how good it feels to be in clothes that fit and accentuate the positive while helping us to disguise the negative. As Christians we all want to be modest in our dress without being frumpy. I can remember thinking many years ago that Christian women in their modest dress really don’t look all that attractive.  Over the years I have come to understand that this does not need to be the case. We can look good and still be modest.

This discussion took place in a group of Moms and so led to further discussion of the current trend of wearing clothes that are, at the very least too tight, and at the worst, too small. It seems to be the current fashion trend to push some extra flesh over at every edge of a piece of clothing. Whenever I get into these conversations I want to know, “where are their Mothers?” There are certain things in life that the best place the teaching – or in this case, correction – can come from is your Mom. She has the right and the responsibility to speak these truths into your life.

It is such a battle today to try to get our children to understand that God is way more concerned about their character (and as parents we should be, too) than He is about whether or not they look good to the world. He calls us to participate in the world but not be ruled by anyone but Him. If, as parents, we want to get caught up with current trends, allowing our girls to show too much skin, then we can expect that they will get caught in other trends in the culture that we don’t want them anywhere near.

As the Mom, how hard is it to teach our daughters to dress well, even a little trendy, while keeping God’s guidelines for modesty in view? (If I can figure this out, anyone can!) Have we become a closer friend than we are a parent to our children? Is it time to go back and establish some lines of authority so our older children understand the safety they live in when they obey God and their parents?

(P.S. How much more effective would it be to an inappropriately dressed teenage girl if her father was to stop her at the door saying, “My daughter is not going out dressed like that?” What could be more loving or make a girl feel more protected? If your house is like my house, you may have to point it out, clothing is not usually noticed without some prodding.)