Moms In Distress
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Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:5
There was a time when public high schools, in an attempt at teaching parental responsibility, would send students home for a weekend with a baby-doll. The student was then to care for this “baby” for the weekend. The details are now sketchy in my memory but there was a way the school tracked if the baby was left or uncared for. The goal, though not stated this way, was to teach that babies are a pain in the neck that you really don’t want to be burdened by.
Fast forward twenty years to the current rage, Facebook memes. There are many out there to do with the overwhelming responsibility of parenthood. If you see the meme, you must bring wine to the overdone Mom asap!
Others have to do with how horrible the house-keeping work is or how bad the time spent in the van on the way to some sporting event is. The cumulative message is that parenting is a burden. To the world this may seem right but it is a completely ungodly attitude for a mother to have regarding her children and responsibilities at home.
Please do not get me wrong. I know it can be exhausting if you have a bunch of kids and are trying to keep life in every sphere going. But, I also know that we are to be content with what (and whom) God gives us and what He tells us are “rewards and a heritage,” or that (when disciplined) they will bring “delight to your heart,” that we should treat children as gifts from Him, not burdens to tolerate until we can have the next glass of wine or vacation away from them. Whew!
I fear that humanistic teaching has taken root in the children of God. We have taken something God calls a reward and made it a burden, or worse, a punishment. Children, when viewed from the biblical perspective, will be understood as the fruit of obedience to God in “multiplying and filling the earth” as well as an additional help in taking dominion of the earth.
The family is God’s creation. Further, it is His foundation for the structure of every society. Do we really want to hand down teaching that is assisting in dismantling what God has set in place?
Mom, are you distressed because you so believed the teaching (that kids are a royal pain) that you now live like it is true? Do we have a generation (or 2) who have been taught that they are pains, so now they do as expected? Or, can Moms re-frame their thinking to what God says is true, “Children are a reward, a heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3)?
Hi, Beth! Interesting point of view.
Most moms I know love being moms, so I haven’t had that experience.
And I always thought the high school exercise was to show children (under the age of 18) they weren’t ready to have children of their own.
On the other hand, there is definitely a prevailing philosophy in our culture of “me first” and anything that gets in the way of that needs to be pushed aside. So I can see your point!
Ava, In our school the stated goal was as you said it but the lengths they went to to make sure you hated it were amazing. I remember talking to our son about it at the time. He was in a large urban school with high pregnancy rate so that could have created a bigger slant toward discouraging it than in other places.
The current memes on my Facebook feed are what caused me to wonder about the connection. You may be on to something about the “me first” thinking. Our trend in parenting to give kids everything they want and to be more concerned about self-esteem than character may also come into this equation.
Thanks for stretching my thinking.
Being a mom has been the biggest blessing and one of the largest sources of heartache for me. Well worth the heartache and tears. Thanks for your perspective.
Thank you for reading and commenting Candice. I pray you will see the fruit of your efforts a parent!
The Bible is our most reliable source of truth. It tells us that children are a heritage, a gift, a reward. It extols the joys of family and the importance of leaving a legacy by speaking of the Lord when we walk by the way, when we sit down, and when we rise up. Raising children is one of the greatest responsibilities of life. Do any of us do it perfectly? No! A human being cannot be on call 24/7 and not make mistakes. Therefore, home is also where children are taught what it looks like when the one in authority makes a mistake, apologizes humbly, makes the situation right, and then continues onward. Our children should see our love, our commitment to them, our guidance, our discipline when necessary, and our ability to humble ourselves before even them as co-heirs in Christ and to ask for their forgiveness. Being a parent is a great gift! It is a privilege, and those kids are so worth it. I raised six, and I cherish each and every one of them.
Amen, Melinda! Completely agree, though I only raised two but now have the privilege as “Mom-mom” to five (and counting).
I think of motherhood in the light of Col. 3:23, “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” It’s fun to be a mom, but sometimes it’s really tough… right now I have 3 preteens and one teen, so it’s “interesting,” to say the least! But it’s godly work.
It is godly work for a godly gift. You are setting a good example for them. Enjoy them while you have them.
Hey Beth, I remember the life-like baby that was tracked by the school if the “child” was actually being taken care of or not. And I agree with your sentiments here. Culture has taken what God meant as a blessing and reward and turned it into a burden and punishment. May we remember as moms, as parents, children are a true gift!
Yes, Karen, Gifts from God. May the Lord help us to teach that to the generations to come!
Beth, this is such a great post! A very needed message. You are speaking my heart! It is sad the message that has been passed down about children ‘being a pain.’ While motherhood is hard work and sometimes leaves very little for self, it is rewarding and it is a privilege to be given a life to cherish, mold, and raise.
I would never want my own children to think they were a pain, and to carry that burden into their adult years. Thankfully, they know they were not pains, but beautiful treasures. My daughter and her husband are both raising their little girl with the same attitude – she is a wonderful gift from God.