Nothin’ Like Your Mom

A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain. Proverbs 19:13 

He had been in the criminal justice system for three or four years and he was only fifteen. If the average middle class American had seen him they would think, “thug.”

I can’t remember the details but he had just come from the courtroom where he had been sentenced to go to a residential treatment center for juvenile delinquents. It would be far from his home. His mother lived in poverty so he knew he would not be seeing her for some time.

He was looking downcast. As he sat awaiting the sheriff who would transport him back to the local detention center to await his move, a probation officer walked over to him noticing the look on his face. He said, “What are you so unhappy about? You’re going to have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, and three square meals a day.” The “thug’s” immediate response was, “There ain’t nothin’ like being with your Mom.”

The probation officer just walked away, silently. It was a statement that was hard to argue with.

From a distance it would appear that this young man placed no value on his family. Like many, he had spent as much time away from his mother as he could. He had given up on traditional education and was getting his on the street. But, somewhere, deep down inside his soul he knew that his mother was his lifeline.

For a child, there is no place as good as “being with your Mom”. Despite his temperament and history, this young man seems to have had a godly view of family. Nowhere else would he be as safe. Nowhere else would have someone who cared about him like his mother. No one else would know him as she did. And his own actions had put him in this position.

Sadly, as with many of the children on my Juvenile Probation caseload many years ago, there was no Dad in the house. There was no man around to model or teach this boy how to live. He was drawn into a gang and there was no man around to yank him out of it (or protect him from heading in that direction in the first place.)

I cannot remember this boy’s name – I clearly recall his words. I was not a Christian then; I knew nothing of the Bible. Now, as I ponder his words and think about his high value on being at home, I wonder what a godly father might have done for him.

This boy’s father chose not to be in his life. Some Dads live in the house with their families but they are still not involved. I think there are others that want to be involved but their wives discourage it. Because their husbands do not change the diaper perfectly the first time, or are rougher or more permissive than they might be, they deem the father unworthy of parenting and essentially train him not to be involved by belittling his every attempt.

Moms, I encourage you to encourage your husbands to be Dads. They do play rougher, they don’t care if they eat cookies for breakfast, and they will allow them to climb higher than you will. So what? They are building a relationship with their children.

The boy sentenced to be away from his mother had no idea what it meant to have a father. If your child has a father, please don’t train him to step away by being overly critical. Leave the room if you must. Your kids will love it. And trust me, even with a good Dad in the house they always know,  “there ain’t nothing’ like being with their Mom.”