One Flesh

Math was never my best subject. Then I got married and I got confused because it was my husband who taught me that 1 + 1 = 1 and he is good at math.

One night several years ago I went to my husband about someone I felt had wronged me in some way (it was so petty that I don’t remember the details now). At the end of my “unloading” I apologized because I thought it was gossip. He reminded me of the Biblical truth that when two people get married they become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24-25). Some people think that this is strictly a physical thing but he (and the scriptures) convinced me then, and have continued to teach me over the years, that it is also a spiritual and emotional thing. My issues are his issues and his are mine. That’s what we promised when we took our wedding vows.

Now, I have a pretty independent personality so this didn’t sit well at first. Time has passed and more and more I’ve learned to share whatever happens in my life with my husband and to welcome whatever comes into his life as mine. If I do this grudgingly rather than willingly, I miss the blessing because, though my actions may be right, my heart is not. When we rely on the Lord (who sees the heart) to be with us in those things (the difficult and the joyful) then we receive the privilege of watching Him bless out marriages or encourage us as we go.

I bring this up because it seems like I’m hearing a lot of people complain about what they think ought to be their spouse’s problems. At the very least they seem to think that if they help or contribute time and energy in any form they should receive some recognition for their contribution. If they help with work, family, or organizational responsibilities then their spouses “owe” them. Is that right?

Have we lost the “two become one” marriage plan that God set into place? You read that right, “and the two shall become one flesh” is God’s idea.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2: 24

I am not saying that husbands and wives shouldn’t be grateful for their spouse’s help in any situation. From a Biblical perspective a man should always love his wife and a woman should always respect her husband, that may include gratefulness. But, when we serve our spouses should we be looking for recognition from our spouse or expecting a blessing from our Savior?

How much better would our homes be if we truly lived our marriages as if we were one? In marriage 1+1=1.