Out of Control

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.  Psalm 16:11

 

 

I am one of them. I wasn’t always like this but I find that the more I practice being this way, the more I like it. What is this affliction? I like to be organized and in control of my environment, ready for whatever a day may hold. I like my floors vacuumed, the dishes done so I get up to a clean kitchen to start the day, and when I am ready to cook I want to open the cupboard and find the pans where they belong.

Even in my work most talks are written two to three weeks in advance for my weekly study and sometimes a number of weeks in advance for a retreat. I want the security of knowing that if something happens close to a teaching time – all I have to do is grab the notes and go.

 

It doesn’t always work out like this. I get busy and I let little tasks drop off my list of priorities. I eventually get to it but sometimes I have to live with things messier than I like – especially with grandchildren in my house 24/7 right now.  Although I like to be in control there are times when things are out of control – at least out of my control.   Sometimes I wake up and realize that things are not like I want them to be.

 

Today, it was phone calls that kept me from accomplishing all that I had on my “to do” list for the day. I thought of my husband’s words when I have asked how his day went and he responds, “even my interruptions got interrupted.”  My phone tells me how long a call lasted. I added them up today and the total was 196 minutes. I enjoyed most of them! But, my to do list did not get done.   

 

This may not seem like a big deal but we leave for a trip to Belize on Saturday. I am not ready for that and I am not prepared for the three or four blog posts that will need to go up while I am away. I have writing and studying to do, and plans to complete for the trip to be as productive and “in control” as we would both like it to be!

 

Tonight as I was starting to get a little concerned about how I would get everything completed and be ready to go by Friday – I realized that I was falling into that feeling of being out of control.  I remembered this verse: “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  (1 Thessalonians 5:18.)  Then, as I was thinking about being thankful, God reminded me of Philippians 4:6, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” I was not thankful and I was so busy trying to catch up that I had not prayed!

 

I needed to turn my attitude around to one of gratitude.  I just taught last week that one of Israel’s problems before they were exiled was their ingratitude to God for all he had done for them starting with bringing them out of slavery in Egypt. Now, less than a week later, here I am practicing my own ingratitude! Yet, I thoroughly enjoyed my time on the phone with three friends – one of them I had not talked to in months.

 

The truth of the matter was that no one was going to die if I did not get all the writing done today. We would not have to cancel the trip because I didn’t get to talk to the people I need to tell we will be gone or make sure I can use my cell phone in Belize. Life was going to go on just fine if I put the grandbabies to bed and even read them an extra book before they got there.

 

I am grateful for today, in hindsight. It reminded me that God has given me good, close friends – some of them too far away to go to lunch with or invite over for tea – so what’s a little time spent on the phone?  I am grateful for time to make dinner for my family and for a daughter who had the kitchen “spiffy clean” so I could just go cook and not have to clean up first. I am also grateful for an opportunity to be the one to read bedtime stories, tuck them in, and pray over my grandchildren (something their Mommy usually does). 

 

For tomorrow, I am grateful for a calendar that shows no extra plans so I can accomplish whatever God has for me to do. I know (and today was another reminder) that God’s plans are always better than mine. That may make creating a list of things to do seem futile – but I will do it anyway because I know I will sleep better if I do.

 

I pray that if God interrupts my plans again tomorrow that I will follow His path for me because that’s where the blessings are and that’s where the joy is found.  Deuteronomy 28:2 gives us this promise. “And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the LORD your God.”