Persevering in Parenting
Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart. Proverbs 29:17
I certainly did not do it all right as far as parenting went.
The one situation that stands out among others (I like to call it my “Mother of the Year” moment) was when both of my children had been given a balloon which I blew up to be as close to identical as I could. After several stops as they got back in the car they started to fight over the balloons. “That one is mine!,” was being shouted through what sounded like real crying at a loud level.
I tried to settle it but drove off with the fight winding up. A few hundred yards later I pulled to the side of the road (in the mall parking lot) to raise my voice over theirs and take their balloons, so I could inform them, “You will NEVER have another balloon.”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, my not-yet-three-year-old son turned off his tears, looked at his sister, patted her shoulder in the car seat next to him, and said, “Don’t worry, she’ll forget.”
Not even three and he knew my threats were idle! This event scared me to death about my parenting. I knew God was giving me a wake-up call.
Many times after this I wanted to throw up my hands and walk away from an incident, just not wanting the hassle of disciplining my kids.
God would not allow me to get away with that.
As I would be walking away I would feel such a strong conviction that this had to be dealt with NOW. I credit the Holy Spirit for reminding me that if I let it go this time, whether it was language or disrespect, or a refusal to do a chore, the fight would be more difficult next time. Eventually I would have to deal with it, now would be easier than later when the habit was developed.
In our parenting we tried to say “yes” when we could so our “no” would be better received. “No” is not usually what a child wants to hear, but is sometimes what they need to hear. I learned early that whichever one I said, I needed to mean and stick with it.
James said, “… but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.” (James 5:12)
It’s hard to see that our children know at young age whether we are trustworthy to keep our promises or not. When we let our “no” be “yes”, they learn that we will “forget” what we have said. Often these are promises we make in an emotional moment of frustration or anger. Who tells a small child they will “never” have another balloon except an angry or frustrated Mom?
So, do your children believe you when you say “yes” or “no”? Are you consistent in parenting in a way that allows them to learn that not only you, but the God you represent to them, is trustworthy? Are you and I faithful to our promises as He is faithful to His?
I never did see that Mother of the Year award.