Raising Responsible Adults

 

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.                                  Proverbs 22:6

 

I don’t want to make excuses for any woman who has chosen to have an abortion. But, it is true that two women I know would have been more than willing to have and raise their babies (in fact they still mourn the loss of them), if the men who fathered them would have been encouraging, or at least willing to be responsible.

Demand for abortions has escalated over time as we dropped a standard of morality in our culture, took the Bible out of public life, and abandoned Christian principles for a worldly model of values.  With these, came the demise of the family and the devaluing of children.

We can look back and try to understand why these things have happened and men have taken the “not responsible” stance, but that is not the point in this post. What we need to know is, “How do we raise young men (and women) who will understand that they are responsible for every decision they make?” And, “Every action has consequences?”

Parents, we need to:

1. Start young. Command respect and accept only first time obedience from your young children. Continue to expect respect for authority. If they are disrespectful or rebellious, there should be consequences (with a pain level appropriate to their age).
2. Consistently teach (and model) children to do the right thing. Paul tells the Colossians to “take off anger, rage, malice, and filthy language from your lips” (Colossians 3:8). He doesn’t stop there.  Later, he tells them to put on “compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.”  (Colossians 3:12b). We cannot stop at removing the bad behavior. We have to teach them how to do things correctly, morally, and for the good of their neighbors, not just themselves.
3. Teach them who God is and what He expects. If a child only hears about a harsh God who is going to send them to Hell for bad behavior and never hears of the gracious God who forgives repented sin, they will have no motivation to obey Him. “Repented” is an important word in that sentence. Too many Christians seem to think that God is going to forgive them because He loves them and has a wonderful plan for their lives. No, God forgives those who mourn their sins and repent. As a Christian, a child will not go to Hell for bad behavior, but neither can a child expect the blessings of God if they persist and refuse to repent.

The family is failing at its responsibility to raise children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Sadly, young men and women will  suffer for the failure of their parents’ teaching, and then their children suffer, and then their children suffer. This is a cycle we need to consciously break.

These three suggestions will not magically produce perfect children, but would be a great start to raising responsible adults. They might even be good enough that the abortion industry will go away for lack of demand.

A woman can hope.