Respect for Her Marriage

 

So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual up-building. Romans 14:19

 

While at a going away party for friends who are moving, I heard this conversation:

Lady 1: (Sadly) I can’t believe she’s leaving. Things will never be the same without her.

Lady 2: I know, but this is really good for her husband.

Lady 1: Who cares? (And she was not kidding.)

This was a gathering of professing Christians. The wife has never been especially happy about the plan to move but she is willing because her husband’s job is the family’s main source of income.

It’s certainly not encouraging for her to have “friends” make comments like this. As our culture has lost respect for marriage, so have many who claim to be God’s children. Where’s the biblical concept that the two become one? “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24).

This conversation gave me reason to  grieve what we, as Christians, have  surrendered to the culture. In God’s eyes marriage is sacred. Hebrews 13: 4 starts like this: “Let marriage be held in honor among all.” Is the church failing to teach the scriptures, or are people so tainted by the ways of the world that we have lost a sense of God’s priorities?

I recently read that divorce in the United States is at its lowest rates since 1970.  This may sound like a reason to celebrate but the report was not so promising. “The experts” believe this is because so many more couples are living together rather than marrying.  They don’t need to divorce to split up. It is important to know that the effects of the split of an unmarried couple with children is just as devastating to the children as a divorce is for the children of married couples. (http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-201_162-2789615.html)

Though I am concerned about the way Christians view marriage, I also think this conversation says something about the way we view friendship – or at least the way this one woman does. The place of the most blessing for us is in the center of God’s will. Why would we not want our friends to experience His blessing? By encouraging a married woman to disrespect a decision she and her husband have made puts her at odds with God.  Ephesians 5:33  says,  “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Friends need to build one another up – not tear down their husbands or marriages. I don’t know why there were hard feelings about the husband (and I did not want to ask) but I know that this conversation was not helpful. The words were spoken from sadness for herself rather than rejoicing for her friend. She saw the friendship as more important than the marriage.

Proverbs 17:17 says that a friend will love at all times. That should include even those times we are not happy about the decisions our friends have made with their husbands.  We may not understand the relationship between two that the Lord brings together – but we have a Biblical responsibility to support and encourage strong marriages.