Self-control, Under Control
Eating too much? Spending too much? Yelling too much? Drinking too much? Talking too much?
How many ways are there to be out of control? Years ago I remember having a conversation with our teenage children about what the Bible teaches about drunkenness. My husband and I argued that even getting drunk one time was a sin before God. Our son argued that the Bible is talking about a lifestyle of drunkenness. We never came to an agreement on this issue but it has come to my mind lately as I thought about what it means when Titus 2 tells older women that we are to train younger women to be self-controlled.
When I read that list it’s pretty easy for me to jump on my spiritual (or at least my moral) high horse thinking I have this one, I can teach it. I do not really struggle with all these things… although I do struggle with talking too much – but not every day, not every time I open my mouth.
And then, I guess if I want to be completely honest, I would have to admit that I also, occasionally, have a problem with food. But, I don’t regularly binge eat or anything. I face the biggest temptations when you put a smorgasbord in front of me, especially if it is desserts. I’ll have a half a piece of this and half a piece of that and before you know it I have four halves on my plate and I’ve eaten two full servings. Is that gluttony if the next day I try to limit my caloric intake?!
And, because we always pay our bills, and we give as the Lord calls us to, I would have to say that in our everyday habits money isn’t one of our “big” problems. However, over the years we have not saved all I wish we had for retirement. Some years, early in our marriage, that was because it just wasn’t there. Later, it was my desire for other things, and while our kids were in college we did what we could to help them. We’ll retire in a few years and I am worried we have not done as well as we could have with saving. So, maybe spending is more of a problem than I like to admit.
It is only the power of the Holy Spirit in me that keeps me from yelling or being overly angry with people. I don’t yell but it isn’t because I never get mad. I recognize it more now for what it is, pride or selfishness, so I protect myself from others seeing my sin by holding onto the words that want to fly out of my mouth! I would like to think that as I have matured as a Christian I have better self-control over my pride and selfishness so that I don’t yell because I am being sanctified. Some days I fear that it is only because my kids are grown up now and they were the usual targets of my frustrations.
So, maybe I have a problem with excuses….
When we get right down to it, the only one of the things Iisted at the top that really isn’t a problem for me is drinking too much. If you ever need a designated driver, I’m your girl!
Can self-control be taught by a woman who is not so good at exercising it herself? As I look back many people (mostly my Mom) gave me advice about diet and exercise, how to spend my money wisely and save, and taught me the power of words. Obviously, I did not heed all the advice I was given. I do know that my Mother struggled with some of the same issues I do but it did not stop her from trying to save me from making the same mistakes she made.
I will let her be my example so that I, at the very least, try to teach young women to exercise self-control in their lives so they don’t make the same mistakes I have made. More importantly, so their actions will prove them to be a child of God’s who has instructed us to, “make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness. 2 Peter 1:5-6.
… for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7