Steadfast on the Roller Coaster

This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. Psalm 119:50

 

 

 

 “The tumors have shrunk!” “She’s in the hospital with an infection in her blood.” “The cat scan was clear!” “Her temperature was 104.5.” “The next round of chemo starts on Thursday.” “We have to postpone treatment so her body can rebuild some strength.” Cancer is a roller coaster.

Lots of things in life are like this but it seems like it is worse with cancer. We get so hopeful that things are improving and then we get our hopes smashed by a problem that, most likely, was caused by the very treatment meant to cure her.  It is a roller coaster of emotion for those closest to the one going through the treatment as well as the patient.

In my hospital social worker days I came to understand that a chronic illness and hospitalization are as hard on the caretaker (the one at home, not the nurses and doctors) as they are on the patient. Many think that a hospitalization is a break for the caretaker but I have found that the opposite may be true. Usually, the caretaker finds it easier to stick with their routine. Most of us would choose to do what we know rather than deal with the world of the unknown. One never knows what will happen during a hospitalization.

In an illness, in a time of trial, or in a time of joy or celebration, God remains the same. We do not have to worry about uncertain outcomes with Him. We do not have to worry about whether or not He can handle a new set of circumstances. We do not have to fear that He will abandon us or leave us if we fail Him.

Many who are in these unpredictable times go through some doubt or some discouragement – maybe even both. Their emotions go up and down with the roller coaster of their circumstances because, as humans, we do face times of fearful events and situations. But, “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23).

I am the observer as someone near and dear to me goes through a time of uncertainty with her cancer diagnosis and treatment. The amazing thing is that God’s steadfast love has been transferred to her. She is steadfast in her faith that He is good and will see her through this. She is not unrealistic but she is optimistic, because of her faith in our steadfast God.

Prior to ever thinking about illness God had shown her His steadfast love and faithfulness. He had already convinced her, through His many blessings and her study of His Word, that He was faithful and by her side. She went into this illness knowing that He was trustworthy, loving, near, faithful, and compassionate. (These are the tip of the iceberg of attributes our God has displayed through these past 15 months as she has fought this fight with Him by her side). As she has looked to Him, He has honored her faith with blessing upon blessing. Because of her faith, she has seen each one.  

She would never think to throw down a challenge, but her living witness to the goodness and faithfulness of God has thrown one down to me. Would I be so faithful to God if it were me with this diagnosis? Do I know Him and trust Him as she does? We can draw closer to God in times of affliction, but how wonderful is it to already understand how good, gracious and merciful He is before we would get into such a set of circumstances?

If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. Psalm 119:92