Table Talk
Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Matthew 10:16
I love food and I love people. Put them together around a table and you have my idea of a great time. One of my favorite things to do is to linger around the dinner table talking after eating.
Yesterday I learned that only one in five American families eat dinner together regularly. That’s astonishing to me. I can’t imagine not gathering with my family at the end of the day. I can’t imagine making a meal everyday that I just leave on the stove for others to eat at their convenience.
I think back to many meals where we learned by listening what was going on in the minds of our children. We heard about what had happened during their days. This was not everyday. Some days it seemed like we sat down together and within just minutes someone had to be out the door going somewhere, work, school, sports, music lessons. Other days there was no schedule and we sat there awhile and talked. In any event, gathering for dinner was our habit.
Our children learned a ton of history and economics around the dinner table. Their Dad would answer their questions and try to teach them the ways of the world…… and then tell them how God would want things done.
Another statistic: 3 out of 4 Christian teens walk away from the church after they leave home. The website I read this on sited a Barna study (http://www.crossexamined.org/ ). Three out of four is huge, 75% of teens raised in the church leave it! “Intellectual skepticism is one of the major reasons they walk away.” These teens don’t know why they should believe in Christ and apparently they don’t know why their parents do.
We can blame the church if we want to but the truth is that the scripture lays this responsibility right at the feet of us as parents. Deuteronomy 6: 7-9 say, ” You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 assumes fathers will teach their children God’s ways. They say, “For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.”
At this time in our culture when there are more ways for children or teens to occupy their time than any one human could possibly participate in, what opportunity does a Dad or a Mom have to talk to them about the Lord? If they aren’t gathering around the dinner table as a family, when will they take the time to talk and instruct?
The car ride to sports and music practices has a limit and let’s face it, most teens are taking themselves or riding with a friend. Unless a family is intentional in scheduling their time together and teaching, we will continue to lose our young people to the culture. Secular college campuses are generally unfriendly to Christian students. Our experience has been that the secular clubs and fraternities are far more aggressive about recruiting new members than the Christian organizations on campuses.
The church has a role to play as well, but the responsibility is on us. In addition to meals together it seems that we can’t neglect other “teachable moments” with our children and youth. As a parent sometimes we may feel preachy or condemning if we stop our child from doing something and give him/her the Biblical reasons why. Our kids need to know “why” and what the Bible says about what they want to do. (Proverbs 13:24)
Please talk about the things of the Lord and find a good, Bible teaching church that takes its ministry to children and youth seriously. If we entertain our kids but fail to send them off from home into the world with the tools to defend and stand firm in their faith, we are literally throwing them to the wolves.
My opportunities with my children at home are over; they are grown and gone. They are amidst the wolves, and by God’s grace, He has protected them. But there are many children in our churches that we have opportunity to influence – our own and others. Parents are Shepherds of their own sheep but as Christians we must provide the examples and love that will reinforce what’s taught at home.
The youth of today will have many meals with many different people once they leave home. We have a short time with them as they grow up. Will we teach them to be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves – or will we leave it to the world of professors and employers to teach them?