If he hears you, you have gained your brother. Matthew 18:15b
A woman was doing some long awaited yard work. There was one stand of weeds that had grown thick and tall. She was digging them out by the roots.
It was a lot of work and a neighbor noticed. He grabbed his weed-whacker and came to her “rescue.” The work was done in moments.
The next spring the weeds were back. Just as thick but not as tall…yet. Weed-whackers do not get to the roots.
Doing some yard work recently, I realized that though I had no weed-whacker, I was lazily pulling weeds, leaving the roots. “Do you really want to do this again in the spring?”
Sin (and pain) is like this. We can clean up the area of our lives that others see but still leave a “root” that can grow again at any time. Often, we leave weeds of anger, unspoken pain, or unresolved conflict that grow their own roots of bitterness in us.
Sometimes we are advised to “let it go,” “just forgive,” or not to tell anyone for fear it would ruin another person’s reputation or our own. Think weed-whacker. Our most trusted advisers may think it is better to “As you are praying, forgive” (Mark 11:25).
Forgiving while you’re praying is a great idea if you are able to do that completely. Often, when the pain is deep, there needs to be a conversation. Matthew 18:15 says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault. The passage (Matthew 18:15-17) continues saying that if he does not hear you, take a witness (remembering that it is possible that this witness will help you understand that your brother did not sin against you.).
If even the witness cannot help the sinner see their sin, then God says to take the person before the church.
This method gets to the root — confidentially at first when there is the most hope of reconciliation. Others are brought into the process only if it is unresolvable between the two.
As Christians we claim faith in God’s wisdom, in His grace and mercy. Yet, His Word tells us what to do to accomplish that grace and mercy with each other and we ignore it and fail to teach the next generation.
His way works because He is the Creator and sustainer of all things – including His people.
For a time after digging out the roots of plants the ground looks a little chewed up. Getting to the root of relational problems may not be pretty – yet. When the old roots are out, new things can begin to grow, and even become lush!
So, if you have been weed-whacking at the things that need to be dug out by the root, the sooner the better. If sin or pain eventually lead to a root of bitterness, it will hinder your faith and the work you have to do for the Great God of mercy and grace.
Where do you and I need to start digging?