Tempered Tongue, Tempered Tool
The tongue can be a powerful tool or a formidable weapon. When executed through the pen or through the lips words have the ability to build up or tear down. They can promote either wickedness or righteousness (Proverbs 12:6, 18).
Years ago at a writer’s conference, a teacher used the illustration of the reported divorce rates in America as an example of how important what we say is to those who read it. A few years before this conference one writer did some “research” and learned that in the most recent year of statistics (I do not know when that was), there were half as many divorces as they were marriages. For clarity, if there had been one hundred weddings there had been fifty divorces during that same year.
Not fifty percent of all marriages dissolved that year but that is how the “researcher” reported it. Our teacher went on to say that for the next few years many repeated that statistic and referenced that same “study.” It was false but it travelled like wild fire. (She further reported that the divorce rate was closer to twenty percent.)
Now we have social media. We can create a stir, build someone up or tear them down with our words in a day. Sadly, some have lost their livelihoods. Some have been left in suspicion by their family. Missionaries have lost support and there is a whole lot of slander believed with no evidence except that they read it on social media.
Responsibility for the words we say and write is one of the things that God promises He will judge. Matthew 12:36-37 say, “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
These two verses should cause us to stop and consider – even research if necessary – every word that comes from us. I fear that social media has made us lazy and irresponsible. Many lash out their “feelings” without ever doing their own honest “fact checking.” Accusations and criticisms are often just slander.
Matthew 18 commands that if we believe a brother or sister in the Lord has sinned against us that we should go to that person alone. If they listen you have gained a brother. It is also true that if we listen to them we may hear a truth about our complaint that we could only understand by hearing their perspective.
Social media removes the one-on-one encounter and moves so quickly that the person’s reputation can be trashed before a rebuttal can be made. This is slander. God hates slander (Proverbs 10:18; Matthew 15:19; 1 Timothy 6:4).
There are so many things that can be tied to the issues we face and the public responses in the world today. Satan, the flesh, jealousy, rage, anger, envy and many more things. For the Christian, we should have the ability in us (by God’s grace in giving us His Holy Spirit) to be responsible and self-controlled with our tongues, our pens and in our actions toward others. Approaching a brother privately (even through Messenger) should come before a public statement that qualifies as slander.
All Christians need to be able to handle words as a weapon as well as a tool. God has given us His Words as the “Sword of the Spirit.” Sadly, there are too many who are far more careful with their hammers and axes than they are with their tongues or pens.
When something that someone else says or does triggers a response from you or me, especially if we “know” because of a third party report (or post), will we stop, think, do a little digging to find out if it’s true (like asking the person we believe is guilty), and respond according to what will please God rather than man?
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18