The Children are Watching

Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.

Proverbs 17:16

 

The men in our household (my husband, my son-in-law, and my 21 month old grandson, Bruce) are organized, methodical kind of guys.  When my husband comes home at night he takes his computer and his briefcase right up to his office and puts them down near his desk, sets up his computer and gets it running, and then comes downstairs to join the family for dinner. 

In the morning, he is up early and has a routine.  I don’t know exactly what it is because I am not usually up to see it – but, often, Bruce and his Mom are.  Bruce has been watching. 

On Monday night this week my husband had a meeting.  He ran home from work, dropped his computer and briefcases in the living room, ate dinner, and headed out to the meeting.  After he left we finished dinner and Bruce – who has only few words but no problem communicating – came to me at the kitchen sink and slapped me on the leg.  When I looked at him he was pointing to the living room.  “What buddy?”  I asked.  He took my hand and went to the living room and showed me my husband’s stuff on the floor as if to say, “This isn’t right.”  I explained that “Pops” would be back later and take it where it belonged.  That satisfied him and he went to play.  

The next day I was telling my husband the story because I thought it was funny that Bruce had such a sense of order at such a young age.  He is like his Dad and Pops!  

Then, my husband told me that in the morning of that day Bruce had been up and “Pops” had gone through his morning routine of getting his breakfast ready and making his coffee.  As he was pouring the coffee into his travel mug Bruce came to him with his keys.  He scolded him for playing with the keys and took them from him.   

Later in the day, he said he realized that Bruce had not been playing with his keys, the next thing in his normal routine would have been to pick up his keys.  Bruce was bringing the keys to him knowing it was next!  He was trying to help.  

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life how often do we miss what our children are doing and saying?  This was an act of kindness from a 21 month old that was missed.  We assume we know their little hearts, when maybe – if we stopped to consider what things look like to them – we would see something really precious about those hearts.  Pops was pretty disappointed that he hadn’t recognized what Bruce was doing when he did it.  

I think there is more here.  Another thing about Bruce’s Dad and Pops, is that they are both kind and helpful men.  There is nothing that I ask either of them to do that they do not do.  Bruce has been watching that, too.  I am pretty sure that the organized part of him is genetic.  The kind part of him is learned.  He is doing what he has seen the men in this family do, helping.  The Bible is very clear about our responsibility to raise our children to fear the Lord and to know His Word.  (Deuteronomy 6:7)  No matter how intentional we are about that, what are we teaching that we do not intend?  Knowing that a 21 month old can know the specifics of our routines should give us cause to stop and think.  

What are our children learning – from a young age –  about the right way to speak and act because of our example?  Paul warned the Philippians to be careful about what example they followed.  He said, “Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.”  What example do our children and grandchildren have in us?  Can we extend Paul’s warning to the example we are setting?  

 If they learn the Word of God at dinner time but have seen TV shows and heard radio or computer broadcasts through the day that do not glorify God – which will be more ingrained in their minds?  If we speak highly of God in one conversation and use His name in vain in the next, what are we teaching?   

My husband was convicted about his being so busy that he failed to recognize an act of kindness from his grandson.  I doubt if he will make that mistake again.  But, as we were talking about it I was much more struck by how attentive to detail a 21 month old is.  These young lives are being influenced by everything we say and do (and watch or listen to).  Are we directing them to – or away from – the Lord God Almighty?