The Cocktail Party or Family Picnic
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10
Social media is a blessing… unless it’s a curse!
This morning I opened my email inbox to eight messages from Twitter. Four of them were letting me know I had four new followers. From each new “follower” I had a direct message. All four were spam. Spammers are not stupid. One of them appeared to come from my old college roommate. I have learned to question these things so didn’t open it.
When I first started using Twitter it was because people who are “in the know” about selling books and getting traffic to a blog said it was very important to build a platform on Facebook and Twitter. I have since read in several places that I should approach Twitter as if it were a cocktail party and Facebook as if it were a family picnic. These are interesting analogies. You know your family (Facebook) but at a cocktail party you meet one person after another and only have time to impress them with a sentence or two (Twitter).
Usually, the longer I am at a real-life “cocktail party” the sorrier I am that I went there in the first place! Knowing that it’s unlikely we will ever have time to know each other well, the conversation tends toward the bold or outrageous. On Twitter it’s much the same. We make decisions about each other based on 140 characters several times a day, at best.
This afternoon I was thinking about my new “followers” and wondering if I should quickly “unfollow” them when it occurred to me that the crowds at these two social media outlets are like some Christians. We have “cocktail party” Christians who like to show up at a church, talk to a person here or there but once they start to see that others want a relationship with them, they go look for a new church. Then, there are “family picnic” Christians who like to get into a church, find their ministry, get to know others, show some hospitality, and stay in it for the long haul – like we do with family. They even stick around for the hard stuff.
I’m much more comfortable at the family picnic where the people have some interest in me beyond my ability to entertain them with pithy lines and amusing anecdotes. It is more pleasant to come alongside someone I have gotten to know and do ministry with them, or for them, than it is to move from group to group. There’s a reason why cocktail parties are occasional and family picnics are regular events in our lives.
We really do care about and want to see family. Isn’t that how God wants us to view our church family? He called us His children, speaks of others in the faith as brothers, and commands us to love one another, serve one another, and encourage one another. Isn’t this also the way we are to care for our families?
Cocktail parties are not a bad thing as an occasional way to meet new people. All of our interactions do not need to be with family. Family picnics, however, are certainly an opportunity to minister to those God has called us to love, serve, and encourage. Leave the cocktail party whenever you’re ready but please plan to stay at the family picnic long enough to help with clean-up – it’s part of the package.
And even though there will be people at the picnic you wish you could “unfollow”, hang in there with them. You might get to know them well enough to love them anyway — not something that happens at cocktail parties. You’ll both leave there having judged the other on a few pithy lines and no opportunity to love, serve, or encourage.
How are you approaching church, as a cocktail party or a family picnic?
I loved this Beth! So true and so well said! Ted Dekker challenged us last night to remember that we are one family in Christ. Christ is in each of us who are believers. I’ve tried at times to approach people believing, “I need to love Christ in them. However, with that said sometimes, for the life of me, I just can’t find Him no matter how hard I look. But after reading this, it came to me that Christ calls Himself our brother in Hebrews. So if I put together what Dekker said with what you said and I approach those that I don’t easily love as the little brother of my beloved at a family picnic. . . how much easier it will be for me to hang in the picnic for the long haul. Thanks for being His light on my path for truth.
Oh Suzi, What a great way to look at anyone in the church! The beloved brother (or sister) of the Lord! I have such a concern for what is happening between believers these days. It is as if we have lost all sense of family that the Bible clearly gives us. Perhaps as family has become less valued in our society, the church is following . It is distressing to me and I pray that I, too, would love others as the Lord’s brothers. It makes me think of how David cared for Mephibosheth as Jonathan’s son even though, by worldly standards, he would have been justified in eliminating him.
Thanks for always making me think a little deeper!