The Marriage Map

 

Now the LORD said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.  Genesis 12:1

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24

 

In Genesis 12:1 (above), God called Abram to leave his country, his family, and his father’s house and go to a land he didn’t know. He was seventy-five years old.

He did it. He had the obedience and courage to follow this call. He packed his stuff, grabbed some family members to travel with him, and left for the land God would show him.

What guts.

This week I have been reading some books on marriage, trying to get some idea of what a Christian couple needs to think about  before marrying. The list is long and includes things like:

• What you believe about God.
• What you believe about marriage roles.
• What you believe and expect regarding finances.
• Your own childhood experiences that shape who you become (who you trust and who you refuse to trust) as an adult.
• What you consider a fight (and what is just an intense conversation).
• What you do, professional and ministry.
• How you feel about family – and your future spouse’s family.
• Sacrifice
• Discipline
• Worship
• Serving

This made me think about Abram. He was told to leave Ur and go where God was calling him. No directions. No map. All Abram had was the knowledge that God wanted him to move. All he had were God’s Words.

Marriage is a lot like this. As I look back, what I thought marriage would look like, and what it has actually been, are light years a apart. Have you considered the depth of the commitment God calls every married couple to live in the covenant they make with each other, and with Him?

In our traditional Christian vows we promise, “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. In addition, some wives promise to “obey.”

Marriage is a covenant before God (recognizing that God does permit divorce in extreme cases). We make these vows, not thinking about the sacrifice and commitment required to keep them. No matter how sick or healthy our husbands are, no matter what they do for a living or how much money they make, we are to love and cherish them until we, or they, die.

Life after the wedding day is just as much a mystery to us as the Promised Land was to Abram. Like him, we must get up every day and take the next step of faith, obeying and trusting God that, when we walk the path (or aisle) He leads us to go down, He will point us to the way that will get us the most peace and joy in the relationship.

Like Abram, our direction comes from   God’s Words full of good, sound, wisdom about marriage. Like other areas of life, when we obey Him, there are blessings. When we refuse to obey Him, there are curses.

Is your marriage a blessing or a curse? What do you need to change (and you cannot change him) to follow God’s map for your marriage?