The Problem of Porn

For all that is in the world–the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions–is not from the Father but is from the world.

1 John 2:16

 

This morning I heard that men who spend time in online pornography are 2.25 times more likely to have extramarital sex than those who abstain. This afternoon my radio was on a Christian station with “Family Talk” on as I got in the car. Someone was saying that 2000 years ago Christians wouldn’t deal with leprosy. Jesus came and He dealt with it. He interacted with lepers, healing many.  This man went on to make the point that internet pornography is the leprosy of today, the church doesn’t want to deal with it.

I hope Jesus will.

On the show was Joann Condy, a licensed professional counselor and nurse for Focus on the Family, and Rob Jackson, a licensed, professional, Christian counselor, who have been dealing with the problem for several years. What they said in the beginning of the show is that the use of internet porn is not plateauing but it is increasing. The average age of (mostly) boys being exposed to it is eleven. 

Mrs. Condy related a phone call she had received that morning from a mother of two boys who are nine and eleven, who had been introduced to pornography by an eleven year old neighbor. After the older boys had pulled the younger one into watching it the neighbor boy started to molest the nine year old. 

It had not been going on long when the mother discovered it but the boys have been harmed beyond the mother’s ability to deal with it alone. These professionals who have been dealing with this for a number of years say it is an addiction, and not one that most men can work themselves out of. It requires outside help and accountability.

I thank God that my church does not run from this issue. There are others, as well. However, that is not the norm from what I am reading and hearing.

There are many theories about why so many churches don’t confront this problem. They range from men in leadership being involved themselves to the fear of losing members if they approach the subject. I am sure that I do not know why they avoid this issue, and because it is not discussed it may cause us to imagine the worst. The further problem with this avoidance is that we have many marriages and a lot of young men at stake. How will we deal with it?

Moms and Dads will have to step up and intervene for their children, being aware of how their computers are being used. As parents are we taking the steps necessary to protect our young men from having access to internet porn? Apparently our sons’ willingness to go to church, their good grades at school, and their sweet personalities do not protect them from the temptation of pornography. Men and boys are wired to be visually stimulated.

I have no solution except to beg parents to be vigilant in keeping their eyes on the “history” on the family computers, knowing a technologically savvy kid could delete the evidence. Be willing to talk about the destruction it can heap on a family. Model a marriage that the children will want to imitate in their own adult lives, and be willing to draw the hard lines and make the tough decisions if you find you have a child with too much unsupervised time alone with his computer.

The second plea is to the church. Believe women when they say pornography is a problem in their homes. Talk about it in Sunday School and from the pulpit. Use the scriptures to make the argument. “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12.

God’s word will convict of sin. As Jesus dealt with the lepers, He will deal with the pornography addicts — convicting them of their sin and forgiving those who hear Him and turn from it. This is a reason for parents to be willing to admit that our children are born with a sin nature – not a halo.  If we don’t tell them what a terrible sin pornography is, they may not hear. Jesus may be willing to deal with it but as parents, we have a responsibility to Him to tell our children what His Word has to say about it.  (Proverbs 6:26, Galatians 5:16, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, Matthew 5:28).

And be sure to talk to the whole family, females now make up about 25% of traffic to pornography websites.  Have mercy on us, O God.