I am not absolutely sure that empathy is sinful, even after listening to Joe Rigney’s book entitled, “The Sin of Empathy.” What Mr. Rigney did convince me of is that it is rarely (if ever) helpful.
In his book, which I recommend you read or listen to, Rigney explains a real difference between sympathy and empathy. Essentially, sympathy brings us alongside of someone in their pain or misfortune, with the ability to assist them. Empathy requires being “in” the problem with someone. He uses the illustration of a person caught in quicksand. The empathic person would jump into the quicksand so they fully understand the struggles and pain of the one already there. The sympathetic person would keep one foot tethered to solid ground as they step with the other foot and reach for the person already there.
Though the sympathetic person may not fully understand the struggle of being in quicksand, they are better equipped to evaluate the situation realistically and be of help.
The book proceeds to give an in-depth picture of the ways to approach the struggles we have in this life and the influences that cause more harm than good. These influences can come from the media or family and friends, or most importantly, from our own hearts. It is much easier to empathize with someone than it is to try to help them.
Interestingly, as I was driving and listening to the book I passed a church with a sign out front. The sign said, “If empathy is sin, sin boldly.” I thought about stopping but it made me chuckle at the manipulation that Rigney had already pointed out. The obvious implication was that empathy is a must for the real Christian… even if it’s sinful or not helpful.
As I think about “The Sin of Empathy” and the call of God for us to show mercy as He is merciful and compassion as He shows compassion, I realize that Rigney has surely gotten this right. In God’s mercy He does not leave us in our sin or our consequences of it. But, how will a person caught in the quicksand of life be helped if all we do is try to “feel their pain” rather than speak the truth in love and with compassion?
Keeping one foot tethered to the Word of God will help us to be more helpful to those to whom we show mercy in their struggles. We can be sympathetic to someone’s situation and merciful in the way we speak and provide help without any need for being “in” their circumstances as the empathetic crowd insists we must do.
“Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.” Luke 6:36
