To Avenge or To Forgive
Remembering the tragic day when a man went into an Amish school and killed several children brings back the memory of that community’s announcing their forgiveness of the shooter within a day of the shootings.
The question that came to mind then was, “If forgiveness comes before repentance, has that shooter gotten away with his sin? Has he been let off the hook?”
A biblical understanding of forgiveness is very helpful here. God commands us to forgive others as we have been forgiven. Though I have never killed anyone, I know that God has forgiven me of great sins that others have not seen. This shooter had to face the Lord upon his own death.
The understanding of the Amish community appears to be clear on God’s Word. He says that a failure to forgive brings on a root of bitterness that can cause more problems for the bitter one than the one they are bitter toward (Hebrews 12:15).
The one we are bitter toward can go on and live her life as though nothing happened. If she chooses to repent it makes forgiveness easier, but repentance may not come.
But, by faith we can trust God that vengeance belongs to Him (Hebrews 10:30). If we trust that the punishment for the sin against us is not for us to execute, we can forgive, knowing that God is covering us with His faithfulness.
Sadly, we don’t usually want to wait for His timing. We want the other person punished… now.
When we fail to forgive or we hold a grudge – isn’t it torture for us? We think about it, we talk about it, we lose sleep over it. This person has wronged us and we’re going to make sure the world knows about it. Then what happens? We grow a good solid root of bitterness about it. Sometimes it becomes such a burden to us that other people don’t want to be around us because we get consumed by it. It’s all we can talk about.
Look at Ephesians 4:31-32. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Bitterness is the first thing that Paul tells the Ephesians to put away. It is a real consequence of unforgiveness.
Sadly, it seems that unforgiveness and bitterness are not frequently linked. We grow a root of bitterness without thinking that an act of forgiveness, which may involve a difficult conversation, might relieve us of the pain of the bitterness.
The book of Hebrews confirms that it can spring up on us and it causes trouble and even defiles many!
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled. Hebrews 12:15
This bitterness may be toward a husband or a co-worker, or even against God Himself if our lives aren’t working out as we think they ought. Forgiveness (which does not always include reconciliation) can free us from the bondage of a root of bitterness in our own hearts.
Are we nurturing a root of bitterness in unforgiveness? Are we willing to repent of the bitterness and unforgiveness and move on with a joyful and peaceful life in the security of God’s grace in forgiving us?
In faith, like the Amish community, we do not need to concern ourselves with letting someone off the hook. God keeps all of His promises and one of those is that “Vengeance is Mine.”