To Do Not Done

 

 

 

Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. Psalm 86:11

 

Today did not go my way. There were no tragedies or major problems but at the end of the day my “to do” list was not done. I was unhappy about that.

It was a normal day until late morning. I left my desk – my first mistake – to go make a cup of tea. The phone rang and it was a friend wanting to stop in. Great! I love surprise visitors. She said she would stay for an hour and that’s what she did – no problem.

I had an errand to run for someone else and decided since I had already interrupted my work I might as well get that done. It took longer at the store than I thought it would but I was glad to have it checked off my list. I made a fruitless side trip that only left me feeling a little more like I had wasted another half-hour!

I came home to another unexpected visitor, normally a good thing. Today, I was ready to get back to work. I was cordial and then excused myself. I got a little more work done and I must confess played a little FreeCell (what was I thinking?). Then I needed to think about feeding my family. That, too, did not go according to my plan. The dinner I had planned for 6 PM actually happened at 6:45 PM. Sigh.

So, now I was not happy with my waste of time at the store and with the computer. No one to blame but myself. Tonight as I was thinking about how much I did NOT get done I also got a little prick in my conscience. God had offered me people to minister to and to love. Whenever we go anywhere we face God’s Divine appointments. What had I done with them today?

In my single-minded desire to just get things done I hadn’t even really noticed the people I had met. I waited for repairs to be made and rather than engage the idle cashier in conversation I wandered around looking at stuff thinking about what I could be getting done if I had stayed at home. At the next store I just wanted to keep moving. But again, there was no one else in that store. I let the chance to show love and concern go. My mind through dinner was not focused on my family but on what I shoulda/woulda/ coulda done if I had been able to use my time my way. What proud self interest!

Why is it that I only see these things in hindsight? Should I have been aware of my opportunity to speak for the Lord or at least to speak of Him or show someone else the love of Christ? Where is my mind when I can waste time playing FreeCell but complain about the time people take from my schedule?

Surely, I am not putting the Kingdom of God first. I am thinking about me, my agenda, my “to do” list that I love to see all checked off at the end of the day. One of the lessons I love to teach is how David desired an undivided heart, one that would love God first and foremost. Today I can see that his prayer needs to be my prayer, “Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” Psalm 86:11

If I feared God more than my own schedule a whole lot more might get accomplished for His Kingdom. I feel like the Apostle Paul when he wrote in Romans 7:19-20, “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.”

I hate it when I become aware of the sin that dwells in me. I didn’t do anything “evil” today in that nothing I did was unlawful nor did I cause anyone any physical harm. But, as a Christian my highest priority should be to show God’s love to others, to advance His kingdom. The only one I wanted to love today was myself and my agenda.

I praise the Lord that He is the God of forgiveness. I will confess and He will cleanse me from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Tomorrow I will start my “To Do” list with #1. Seek God’s Kingdom and #2. Always consider others more important than myself.

That’s my plan. Only God’s grace will allow me to check them both off at the end of the day.