Too Many Words

When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,
But he who restrains his lips is wise. Proverbs 10:19 (NASB)

I did it again. I said more than I should have. I spoke to someone about a situation that I just should have been quiet about. It wasn’t gossip, it was an opinion about something that we disagreed about. He took it personally.  In the Good News Bible the lead verse from Proverbs is translated, “The more you talk the more likely you are to sin. If you are wise, you will keep quiet.”

I am trying to learn when to speak and when to remain silent. I frequently pray that God would show me. This time I didn’t and now I regret it.

I once read about a lesson for children where you have them squeeze out all the toothpaste from a tube and then have them try to put it back in. Like words, once that toothpaste is out of the tube, there’s no putting it back. Apparently, I need the lesson.

Sometimes I leave a gathering of people wishing I had just been quiet all night. Other times I leave feeling like someone was encouraged or helped by my words.  Maybe I need to be more intentional about praying before I go anywhere where there will be people who might suffer or benefit from my words.

The Bible has a lot to say about our words. James is very pointed about the need to tame the tongue. He reminds us that for such a small part of the body it can do a lot of harm.  Chapter 3: 9-10 speak of the tongue this way, “With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.”

Jesus said that it is “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” When we fly off the handle with our words because an aggravating situation riles us up, we can’t blame the situation. That attitude and those words were already being stored in our hearts. We lose our self-control that enables us to contain them, but the circumstances don’t cause the words.

The good news is that the Bible also gives us a positive command to tell us how to correct the problem. Our hearts are controlled by our minds and Ephesians 4:22-23 tell us that when we are in Christ we are to put off the old self and “we will be renewed in the spirit of our minds.”  Colossians 3 tells us to “put away anger, rage, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your lips and to “put on compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.”   Even as I write those instructions it is obvious to me that we can’t take off or put on without the help of the Holy Spirit.

In Colossians 3:14  Paul crowns these instructions with, “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” If we would be more loving we might be quicker to hold our tongues – at least that would be true for me.

The Apostle Paul was a wise man.  Perhaps the best advice on the words we use were in his words to the Ephesians. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. “ “Only words that build up and give grace” leaves a lot of space for conversation, encouragement, and fellowship.  If I were to take those words personally, it would be a good thing.