Too Much, Too Soon

 

It is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35b

 

 

I remember wanting to wear little heels with my Easter dress when I was eleven. My Mother would not have it, I was too young, according to her.

Growing up I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “You can have that when you’re older.” “You can do that when you’re a teenager.” “She’s allowed because she’d older.”

As the 5^th of 6 children I was seeing what my older siblings were doing and wanted a piece of their action.

Age-Appropriate

My Mother was very big on age-appropriate dress, age-appropriate allowances, and age-appropriate privileges. A prime example would be birthday parties (though we had few). She reasoned that a child could handle as many friends at the party as the years they were celebrating, i.e., a five year old could have 5 guests, a 10 year old, 10 guests.

When I became a parent I remember talking to her about it. Her fear for us was that we would not look forward to the privileges that come with age if we experienced or accumulated too much, too soon. She said if we had gotten to be sixteen and had already been wearing high heels, make-up,  and dating boys, what would be the next “fun” thing we would want to do? What was left were not the healthy choices of teen desires.

What I could not see as a child made perfect sense as a parent!

Treasures to Give

According to Proverbs what we need to be pouring into our young children is not “stuff” or a multitude of activities. The treasures Solomon talks about are the treasures of wisdom and understanding, knowing the love of the Lord and His Word. (Proverbs 2:1-6)

The greatest gift parents can give to their children is the example they set of living a life of righteousness and praying for that righteousness to reside in their children. Proverbs 20:7 says, “The righteous who walks in his integrity– blessed are his children after him!”

Many parents tend to want to give things to their children without thinking about how it will affect them long term. We are concerned that they have everything we didn’t or at least as much as the other children in the neighborhood. Children who are given too much too soon grow up without appreciation for the God who supplies or the people who have been so “generous” but failed to think about the consequences for the child.

My last fear about this is that when we give them stuff, we are appeasing the guilt of not giving our time. Children want our time and attention – not our stuff. It is the time and attention that we can use to point to and demonstrate the attributes of God for them. They cannot get too much of Him, soon enough.

My Mother was a wise parent.

Parents and Grandparents, are we giving too much stuff, too soon? It is never too soon to change.